Being Older IV - Signs of wear

Thursday April 22, 2004 at 7:11 am

Completing the aged humor my Mother so kindly shared with me, this is Chapter 4 of the "Being Older" series.

This installment completes our little spree through the world of geriatric humor (for now, at least).

Again I'd like to mention that you have my Mother to thank for the "Being Older" series. So blame her!

And remember…

If you're under 50, this may be amusing.

If you're over 50, this is probably reality.

Signs of Wear

"Old" is when… Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one. I can't do both!"

"Old" is when… Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.

"Old" is when… A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

"Old" is when… Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

"Old" is when… You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

"Old" is when… You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

"Old" is when… "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.

"Old" is when… "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

"Old" is when… An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee.

jason

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