Knowledge
Sunday May 16, 2004 at 10:32 am
During my senior year in high school, when this was written, I was in a relatively dark place in my life. I had found myself embroiled in a rather ugly battle with my parents and the church they were going to at the time. The issue was that I didn't fit in the mold that was being pushed upon me, so I progressively found myself at odds with those who had the most influence over my life.
Originally started as a suicide-related poem, I found myself drawn in a very different direction as I actually put pen to paper.
The end result was more akin to the mental, emotional and psychological freedom we experience when we free ourselves of the repressive elements in our lives. Whether it be church or family or school or a self-imposed repression, what I eventually composed was more a metaphor which expressed how I felt once I moved away from home, left the church, and allowed myself the freedom to explore my own life, to live my own life, and to be happy with myself regardless of what others may say or think.
I step out into eternity
oh yes, at last, I am free
a hold on me you have no more
behind me I have shut the door
the sky behind is stark and black
the sky ahead — I'm taken aback
an endless sea of stars and suns
bright and beautiful, those are the ones
I walk upon a suspended way
that streams right through this endless day
the lights indeed, stars they are not
knowledge they are; oh what a lot
I have finally arrived at my lifelong dream
this knowledge, oh yes, in me it gleams
endless knowledge the stars represent
I'm happy now this way I went
power, yes, beyond compare
out before me — yes, right there
the sky is filled with wondrous light
as I approach with strength and might
the knowledge is of mystical things
of power, of creation, of everything
my mind is open; I reach out
I touch the light and then it's out
inside my mind I now behold
all in life ever told
[circa 1989]
jason
Comments
Leave a Comment
Please note:- Comment moderation is enabled and may delay your post. There is no need to resubmit.
- Fields marked with an asterisk (*) are required.
- Your e-mail address is never displayed or shared, so provide a real one.
- Line and paragraph breaks are automatic.
- All comments are subject to the rules.
- Your browser must supply valid user-agent and referrer data.
- XHTML available:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>
May 16th, 2004 at 12:58 pm
That’s beautiful, but what is more beautiful (to me) is the feeling of strength you gained, strength inside, to give yourself the freedom to explore life and yourself without arbitrary constraints. And to make mistakes and fall and feel pain and still keep exploring, learning, searching…..
May 18th, 2004 at 4:00 pm
I'm not sure about beautiful, but thank you! Having been written when I was a teenager, I’m not sure I expected any literary awards.
The goal in life is to find strength in the events which transpire around us, to learn, to grow, to explore, to make mistakes and learn from them. We can, after all, learn from anything which does not kill us.
May 18th, 2004 at 4:51 pm
I sort of see it as learning and growing and trying hard to bring light (not in a sense of enlightenment, but in a sense of joy) to others, to not do harm. Now I’m not very good at that last, but it’s in there. Some sort of karma recognition.
May 21st, 2004 at 7:03 am
I'm not sure why you'd think you're not good at the last part, but, speaking from personal experience, I don’t think you do too badly in that arena.
May 23rd, 2004 at 3:00 pm
hmmm well you’re sweet, thank you Angel, I guess I focus on the bad, being of a pessimistic turn of mind. But someone asked me something along those lines several years ago when I was working at OakLawn Community Services and I said basically what I said there, just to try not to cause harm, to bring some good, as it were, into the lives of those around me. It’s evolved into some sort of karma concept, which is about as close to a religion as I manage to get