Important office memo: swearing at work
Saturday March 5, 2005 at 12:30 pm
Dear employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases has been provided so that the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.
| Try saying this… | Instead of this… |
| I think you could use more training. | You don't know what the fuck you're doing. |
| She's an aggressive go-getter. | She's a fucking bitch. |
| Perhaps I can work late. | And when the fuck do you expect me to do this? |
| I'm certain this isn't feasible. | No fucking way! |
| Really? | You've got be fucking shitting me! |
| Perhaps you should check with so-and-so. | Tell someone who gives a fucking shit. |
| I wasn't involved with the project. | It's not my fucking problem. |
| That's interesting. | What the fuck? |
| I'm not sure this can be implemented. | This shit won't fucking work. |
| I'll try to schedule that. | Why the fuck didn't you tell me sooner? |
| He's not familiar with the issues. | He's got his head up his fucking ass. |
| Excuse me, sir? | Eat fucking shit and die. |
| So you weren't happy with it? | Kiss my motherfucking ass. |
| I'm a bit overloaded at the moment. | Fuck it, I'm on salary. |
| I don't think you understand. | Shove it up your fucking ass. |
| I love a challenge. | This job fucking sucks. |
| You want me to take care of that? | Who the fuck died and made you boss? |
| He's somewhat insensitive. | He's a fucking prick. |
[via Mari]
jason
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February 23rd, 2006 at 11:30 pm
hey, jason, i had a question. I randomly got the “Important office memo: swearing at work” email and there are attachments with it that are reallllly weird. Just wondering if why this is on the site, and if you have any informatin regarding it. Thanks alot.
Mark
February 24th, 2006 at 7:36 am
This was a chain mail that one of my coworkers forwarded to me last year. I posted it because I thought it was funny and worth sharing.
The copy I got didn’t have any attachments, so I’m afraid I can’t offer any insight into what you’ve received or whatever might be attached to it.