Why my kids are better than your kids

Sunday June 26, 2005 at 9:18 am

Remember, cats are better than kids because they: eat less, don’t ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don’t hang out with drug-using friends, don’t smoke or drink, don’t worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don’t wear your clothes, don’t need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

jason

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I am an aspiring novelist and a writer at heart who finds cathartic relief in every word penned, whether it be digitally or otherwise. I am an avid reader consumed with devouring the written word. I am an amateur photographer who believes a camera represents one of the greatest tools we can keep at the ready. I am a naturalist and tree hugger. I am a cat fanatic, a simple ape whose every breath hinges on the satisfaction of The Kids, seven cats responsible for untold compassion and understanding and happiness, not to mention a great deal of drama, abuse, and slavery to which I subject myself just so demanding predators can remain content. I am a human who appreciates the complexities of the cosmos, the fallacies of faith, the soundness of science, the misanthropy of aware minds, and the cataclysm of politics. I am me, a simple man with complex thoughts and a complex man living a simple life, someone trying to make my way through the universe without causing too much pain to others along the way.