As I briefly mentioned yesterday, two dear friends are going through a very rough time right now. After a series of emotionally tumultuous events in their lives, within the last few weeks they learned they would be having their first child together. This was a time of great joy for them, the result of much planning, contemplation, and a sincere desire to have a child. Then, in the last few days, she began suffering in ways that indicated possible complications with the pregnancy. Yesterday, to their dismay, they learned she was having a miscarriage. In light of everything else they have been through over the last month, this is devastating news.
I spent the day with them as they suffered through the agony of this event. While there is nothing that can be said to minimize the pain they both feel or the horrific disappointment now smothering them, I felt it important they understand they were not alone and that there was indeed some good news to be found in this event. That is undoubtedly hard for them to see right now in the shadow of recent events. Their anguish does not negate the proverbial silver lining, however, and I stressed this to them time and again.
I know they will suffer long the despair of what has transpired, yet I can not help but find comfort knowing there is hope for better times ahead. This particular kind of travesty is not unusual (one in four pregnancies end in a miscarriage in the first trimester). Extenuating circumstances for both of them posed risks for not being able to become pregnant; those limitations fell by the wayside on their very first attempt. They love each other dearly and want to have a child together. They now know definitively that previous concerns indicating problems with becoming pregnant were hollow. Overall, accepting the terrible event that befell them, it still holds promise for the future.
Nonetheless, my heart aches for them. Their pain is real, it is brusque, and it will take time to heal.