Category Archives: al-Zill

You in danger, girl!

Warm evening air greeted me as I stepped outside last night.  These little jaunts to the patio represent the only means of escaping my on-call hell.  Being tied to a computer 15 hours out of each day leaves no room for much else.

Yet feeling robbed of walks at the lake during such times doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy nature.  Living at an urban nature refuge means nearly as much life can be seen roaming about outside my own door as can be seen were I to venture to the lake itself.

Last night was just such a moment, an instance when nature came to me.  Albeit under stressful circumstances, and I don’t mean for me.

al-Zill lounged comfortably just outside the fence.  His attention seemed focus upward, toward or into the bushes I thought, although my view was limited and he just as easily could have been looking up into the sky on the other side of the hedges.

I had seen him leaping into the photinia bushes from time to time, something I assumed meant he was chasing one of the many birds or insects or lizards that use the foliage for hunting, for nesting, for off-the-ground transportation, and for camouflage.  The stealthy black feline always returned to the ground in that clumsy way for which he’s known[1], and always with empty paws and jaws showing he failed to capture whatever he was chasing.

The moment I stepped out the bedroom door and spied him, he turned, saw me, and came running.  This is the usual course of things; to wit, he dashes to my side the moment he sees or hears me, rubbing endlessly against me in an effort to give as much affection as he receives.

After a few minutes of petting and rubbing, him rolling around and giving me head butts the whole time, we had moved close enough to the food and water for him to realize his belly needed filling, so off to dinner he went.

al-Zill grabbing a bite to eat from the food bowl on the patio (20080322_02781)

My attention no longer diverted by this joyfully needy and loving cat, I stood, took a sip from my beer, and turned toward the fence.

I immediately saw Psiwa lounging beneath the tree inside the protection of the photinias[2].

Psiwa lying beneath the tree and behind the photinias as he looks up into the bushes (20080322_02789)

He likewise seemed to be watching the bushes intently.  Too intently.

Psiwa, seen from behind, as he looks up into the photinia bushes (20080322_02782)

I felt this warranted a closer look, what with two cats within spitting distance of each other who both appeared enraptured by something, something hidden amongst green and red leaves and the maze of limbs that supported them.

So I scanned the verdant growth looking for…  Well, looking for whatever they were so interested in.

It didn’t take long for me to find it.

A juvenile eastern fox squirrel (Sciurus niger) precariously hanging on within the cover of photinia bushes (20080322_02796)

Precariously slipping from branch to branch, sometimes stretched to her body’s limit trying to keep herself as high as possible, a juvenile female eastern fox squirrel (Sciurus niger) scarcely bigger than my hand clung to life by a thread, a thread represented by whatever protection the shrubbery could provide.

With two cats already aware of her presence, that seemed little protection for such a defenseless creature.  Felines are patient and skilled hunters.  An immature and frightened squirrel stands little chance of escaping.

I then decided I should intervene.

I went back inside and exited through the front door, walked around to the outside of the patio, and located the poor thing.  Even as I approached, it scrambled a bit, a clumsy attempt to remain unseen and safe.

A close-up of a juvenile eastern fox squirrel (Sciurus niger) as she perches within the cover of photinia bushes (20080322_02802)

Despite its small size and cute visage, I knew trying to grab it was a poor idea, yet nothing else sprang to mind.  If I held it in my protective arms, at least then I knew it would not fall victim to predation by domestic felines looking for the enjoyment provided by the pursuit and capture of small darting prey.

But I had no intention of trying to grab it.  There is a great deal of nature that can be touched, from plants to insects to reptiles to arachnids to crustaceans to every other kind of life imaginable.  One need only know what is safe to touch and what is better left untouched.

A young frightened rodent is nothing to be trifled with, especially one who likely has been trapped in a hopeless situation for quite some time.

Yet what chance did a single human have to intervene when two killers had already marked the target, and the target itself possessed none of the skills necessary to escape, not strength or speed or intellect?

I stood silently[3] as close to it as I could without posing an imminent threat, at least one greater than the cats, and I pondered what course of action I could take.

Thankfully, a timely diversion bigger than me came around the corner, one that could not be ignored.

Someone across the road was receiving a large delivery of plants from a landscaping company.  The truck and its two deliverymen rumbled about making all sorts of noise, the lot of them finally coming quite near where I stood at the edge of the concrete.

The cats retreated long enough for the squirrel to leap from its ligneous hideaway and scramble beneath a nearby parked car.  al-Zill saw it, though, and he followed quickly.

Withing striking distance of the poor thing, me flailing crazily as I tried to divert his attention, the truck rumbled to life one more time to reposition itself for unloading.  That brought it right to the squirrel’s position.

The cat ran back through the bushes fleeing the giant monster, and the little gray visitor ran eagerly beneath the metal giant, out from under the other side, and quickly disappeared up a tree that gave it easy access all the way to the lake (from tree to tree to tree).

Did it survive?  While under my watch, yes.  I can make no other claims.

— — — — — — — — — —

[1] Having grown confident al-Zill does suffer from some kind of neurological damage, he tends to be less graceful than most felines.  Climbing into the shrubs around the patio is relatively harmless in that regard since he can’t fall far and has difficulty getting very high due to the dense limbs and foliage.

[2] I’ve said before that al-Zill and Psiwa get along.  That’s generally true, although not always.  This can be blamed on al-Zill and his mental issue(s).  Sometimes he greets Psiwa like an old friend, sometimes he ignores him entirely as though he’s not there, and sometimes he challenges him similar to the way one might challenge a home invader.  These dichotomous positions remain unpredictable, sometimes occurring within minutes of each other.

[3] Some might have provided soothing words to the poor little lass hoping to calm her racing heart and let her know help had arrived.  Those words, although comforting to human ears, might have been heard very differently by the squirrel.  Domestic cats, for instance, when in distress, are actually frightened and agitated by the soft tones and cooing verbiage we associate with peaceful reassurances.  Most people never realize this, and most people equally never realize those heartfelt gestures mean little, if not the opposite, to species other than humans and dogs.  While each individual will react according to its own personality, most animals receive little if no benefit from such acts.

[title shamelessly borrowed from “Ghost”]

Apprising

The wound has healed nicely.  Fur now grows back atop his head—almost as though nothing happened.  Amazing how care and attention work magic in such cases.  Still, one need only look closely to see the old damage, the scars, the somehow misshapen contour of his skull.

His overall health and demeanor have improved.  Stable food and water, reliable affection, and constant shelter seem to bring out the best in life, seem to empower the recovering essence within every living thing.

He defends the patio as though it were his personal domain.  But only from violent interlopers.  Psiwa comes and goes at will, unchallenged.  Their gentle natures appear complementary.  The same is true for others, some as yet unnamed or unintroduced, but only those with kindred spirits.

He struggles with simple things despite his improvement.  A shake of the head, a movement altogether common for most animals, renders him unstable, sometimes falling, sometimes held upright on legs threatening to splay in all directions so as to leave him flat upon the ground.  Stretches?  They work sometimes; other times they present a form so uncontrolled as to be laughable—were it not so heartbreaking.

I speak of al-Zill, of course.

Although I’m on call this week, something that makes my schedule unpredictable at best, I believe my first opportunity to capture him will come this weekend.  Let’s hope so, for these times are few and far between.

al-Zill sleeping in the cat carrier on the patio (20080224_02358)

[he rarely stays in the carrier when I’m on the patio; normally he rushes to greet me, giving me head butts and rubs and all manner of love, purring all the while as he talks to me as though we’ve known each other for decades; the first opportunity I have to grab him in this state—when I can then dash him off to the vet for treatment and examination—must be seized with fanatic fervor]

Considerations, intentions, dispositions, and formulations

From an e-mail I just sent to Mom:

On the subject of my shadow, al-Zill, I intend to rescue and adopt him.  […] I now feel confident that he does indeed have neurological damage.  I suspect it’s from a coyote attack, although I could be wrong.  A car might explain the wounds and problems.  Then again, maybe not.

His wounds have healed with a great deal of effort and care.  He still might need additional treatment depending on the severity of the damage, but I can assure you the infection is gone, the wound is healing nicely, and he’s in much better condition now than he was six weeks ago.

I said on the blog that I don’t need seven cats.  Nevertheless, I can’t ignore the situation.  He won’t survive without intervention.  And I won’t leave him behind knowing the fate bearing down on him without my protection.  I can’t do it.  I can’t be that callous, that heartless, that uncaring and unnoticing.  So I’ll mess up my finances even more by tending to his needs, getting him healthy, and giving him a home.

He’ll cause more chaos with the other six cats, I know, but I consider myself an expert at this now.  I can do it.  He’ll fit in fine, he’ll make friends, he’ll be safe, and I won’t carry the scars of inhumanity that haunt me for every life I can’t save, every bit of mercy I fail to show.  That’s not the person I am and it’s not the person I want to be.  So I sacrifice, I give in to my better nature, and I curse those who look at me crosswise simply because they can be vile and ghoulish without blinking, they can be selfish sans a bit of care for those hurt along the way.

That’s just not me.  It hasn’t been, isn’t, and won’t be.  Ever.

From a recent telephone conversation with xocobra:

xocobra: “What if he’s critically wounded?  What if he can never be healthy and happy?”

Me: “Then so be it.  I’ll give him the life he can enjoy while he can enjoy it.”

“What happens if the doctor says he needs to be put down?”

“I’ve always erred on the side of quality versus quantity.  If he can’t have a comfortable, happy life, I’ll make the decision that needs to be made.  I’d rather he wallow in some goodness for a short time than suffer through agony for a long time.”

“Thank you.  Thank you for saying that.  Thank you for being that way when it comes to what matters.”

Truth be told, however, I fear for what Randy said in his latest missive:

And at the same time, I think you know that you are perilously close to having someone […] show up at your door for harboring too many animals.

How so very accurate an observation.

Seven?  Too many?

Perhaps.

But I can’t ignore compassion.  Benevolence is my way, I’m afraid, and I must do what I must do.

Scheming and plotting a capture now appear the necessities of the day.  To secure, to evade, and to provide.

I’ll go from there.

I don’t need seven cats

al-Zill, on the other hand, makes me reconsider.

Without a doubt he suffers from neurological damage.  Such a feline cannot survive in the wild.  Had he not already taken up residence on my patio, what with constant attention, food, water, shelter, and protection, he undoubtedly would be dead.

A simple stretch tumbles him to the ground, his front or back legs failing the commands necessary to achieve such uncomplicated physical movements.

Walking appears sound most of the time, yet even that basic task intermittently resembles frenzied chaos.

Running?  Perhaps he can and perhaps he can’t.  Sometimes he seems more a fish out of water, a writhing mass of black fur flailing about on the ground, no traction beneath sliding feet, no coordination amongst four legs destined to leave him easy prey.

As I’ve grown to know him, I’ve likewise grown to understand better the once massive wound atop his head, the one in front and at the base of his left ear, the one originally infected and bleeding and oozing puss so vehemently as to seem fatal.

You see, that very wound coincides with a dislocation of his lower jaw, one that leaves his mouth agape and his teeth showing on the left side.

A coyote, most likely, were I to conclude such a thing based on the damage alone.

A hinged vice such as the jaws of most animals creates bidirectional force.  One seems logical: a compression between two opposing pieces, a squeezing of that caught in its grasp.

The other?  Perpendicular to the force exerted, a pressure shoving the object held away from the hinge.

To wit: Hold a glass in your hand.  Stretch your fingers out straight, and then squeeze.  You’ll find the glass pushed away from as much as pinned between your fingers.

Large enough to grasp his head in its grip, such a force could explain the head wound and the dislocated jaw, both perfectly aligned with a gaping maw I cannot see.

Perhaps a cracked skull or a tooth pierced to the brain tells the tale al-Zill cannot convey.  I suspect as much.

In my quest to leave the city behind, something to happen as quickly as I can work it out, abandoning him in this place to fend for himself with so many of his superior instincts and capabilities crippled by this attack would beg the question of my own humanity, my own sense of mercy and care for others.

What of a shelter?  Only a no-kill shelter would keep him alive, for any other would put him down with expeditious cruelty.  A “special needs” cat is unlikely to be adopted, they would claim.  And they would be right.

In other settings where his problems did not spell certain doom, chances of adoption would fall off dramatically due to the very same issues I’ve already mentioned.  Who wants a cat with brain damage, one who has difficulty functioning normally (albeit on a limited basis)?  Who wants a cat not always aware or in control of bodily functions?

Would you so readily adopt such a predator, taking him home with full knowledge of the difficulties ahead?  How many would?

My soul cringes at the thought of leaving him to such chance, to what destiny hope and opportunity could provide for such a creature.

Nay, poppets, I shan’t wear the spirit’s scars made from that decision.  I can’t.  I won’t.  To bear such eternal anguish frightens me.

Return of the tempests

February 5—just last Tuesday—severe thunderstorms developed in North Texas, the same storms that would move toward the east while spawning a multitude of tornadoes.  All that destruction began here, began just west of the DFW metroplex, and as it lurked eastward it grew more powerful, more deadly.

But for us, at least here at White Rock Lake in Dallas, the severity swung shy of deadly.  Let it be said, however, and as I told Jenny as I sat here under dark, forbidding skies with wind rattling the windows and howling around the patio, I felt the storms even then were of the tornadic variety.  I specifically mentioned to her in an IM chat that I felt as though I witnessed a typical springtime thunderstorm developing and moving in, one full of spinning winds powerful and ghoulish enough to give life to that most destructive kind of storm.

Yet we in Texas were spared the ravages of what these tempests unleashed as they moved by us, as they moved away from the Lone Star State toward unsuspecting winter inhabitants throughout the region.  For these were not typical winter storms, not the kind we have witnessed before.  These were in fact the selfsame destroyers of lives we see in spring and, less frequently, in autumn.

In early February though?  Hardly.

Still, there they were, spinning up as they approached, and when they arrived I knew without a doubt that something fierce have been unleashed upon us.

At first I tried stepping out to the patio to snap some photos of the approaching squall.  As that faces west and the storms began developing in that direction, it seemed the best place to grab a photo or two.

Not!

Heavy rain and hail falling over a nearby parking lot

I pushed the bedroom door open and took one step before being pummeled with heavy rain and hail.  Fierce winds drove the downpour almost horizontally.  When it was all said and done, traces of the deluge rested as high as my head on the outside walls, and that after blowing in under the roof.

That single photograph resulted from my feeble attempt to face the onslaught.  The large, thick white stripes in the air do not demonstrate heavy rain.  Those are streaks in the image left by sizable hail.

I had to go back inside and dry off the camera and lens.  I couldn’t take a chance on getting hit with the hail, let alone having the camera assaulted directly by either the icy bombs or the torrential rain.

That said, I didn’t have to wait long to go back outside.

While severe, the thunderstorms were small and moving quickly, growing in strength and size as they moved over us toward the east.  The worst of it was over in five minutes or so.

Only then could I see how serious it had been.

The ground covered in sizable hail from a February thunderstorm

Buried under a solid coat of ice, the ground became a very different world.  A beautiful one, yes, but equally a sign of the danger that passed.

The nickel-sized volley left on the earth carried with it leaves and limbs from whatever it could overcome.  I found that a sizable bit of detritus.

A close-up of sizable hail covering the ground after a February thunderstorm

Only as they moved on and organized into something devastating did it become clear what we had escaped by falling under the shadow of this tempest’s beginning.

With winter still in place, North Texas finds itself once again under the gun.  We now have a significant chance of similar storms this evening through tomorrow morning, a dark beast of anger coming with the winds, coming as the vanguard of another cold front sweeping through the unusually warm and tropical airmass that rests over us.

This night well could be another harbinger of the return of the tempests.  Spring is starting terribly early this year…

[note: al-Zill found the cat carrier I placed on the patio for him can provide only so much protection when a lateral bombardment is taking place; the carrier has air spaces around the top section; these allowed more than a bit of rain and hail to pummel him as he lay there seeking refuge from the storm; thankfully, he quickly made his way under a nearby car where—at least—only his feet got wet; I fear the same for this evening, so I’m already looking for a way to shield the carrier on the side that faces the patio fence]