This was posted on one of the message boards I frequent from time to time.  I stumbled upon it the other day and laughed my ass of.  It's humorous and insightful at the same time since it's quite true.  It's reminiscient of a Jeff Foxworthy show…

You can smile to let someone know you can't stand them.

You know how to handle the telephone like a Stradivarius.

You know how to get back at just about everyone.

You're good pals with women other people can't stand.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Everything that you do… no matter how small… is… "Fabulous."

You truly don't care who Julia Roberts is sleeping with.

You can call anyone "honey" including pets.

You know someone who definitely was in the emergency room with Richard Gere and the gerbil.

You understand the immense importance of good lighting.

You can tell a woman you love her bathing suit, and mean her bathing suit.

You really have "been there, done that."

You know who Edina and Patsy are.

You've read the book, seen the movie, done the musical.

You know how to dress strategically.

Your car has an amusing female name.

You're the only one at your high school reunion who looks a lot better.

There's a married guy somewhere who is terrified of you.

You have a medicine chest stocked for any occasion.

You know how to make an entrance.

You worry about people you don't even know — like Liza Minnelli.

You choose the most fabulous greeting cards.

You have a cologne display worthy of Bloomingdales.

You've called someone "girlfriend" who is neither a girl nor a friend.

One or more of the following apply to you:
    a) You adore Judy Garland.
    b) You hate Judy Garland.
    c) You hate people who adore Judy Garland.
    d) You hate people who hate Judy Garland.

You made Donna Summer a star.

You made Donna Summer a has-been.

Tanning salons were invented for you.

You've made sunbathing a performance art.

You know that referring to someone as "a real lady" isn't necessarily a compliment.

If your cat is a female, you swear it's a lesbian.

If your cat is a male, you swear it's a lesbian.

You sing along heartily with songs that make most females cringe, like "Stand by Your Man."

A two seater convertible seems perfectly practical to you.

You have a favorite Disney character and… it's usually a nasty one.

You've left someone totally speechless.

When someone turns his back on you, you actually consider it an opportunity.

At some moment in your life… you've envisioned having "back-up girls."

You know that Barbra Streisand's biggest fan is… Barbra Streisand.

You have 412 ways to tell someone to get lost.  136 are nonverbal.

You can lip-sync to at least one Supreme's song.

Even if you're in Kansas, you're not in Kansas anymore.

Flowers fix everything.