After a long day at work (too long, actually), I finally got home last night and was simply too tired to do anything more than eat something for dinner and sit mindlessly in front of the boob tube.  With all four of The Kids lying with me on the love seat, I decided to watch Van Helsing on pay-per-view.  As a consummate monster movie fan I had wanted to see this when it was in the theaters despite how bad it looked.  I’m glad I waited.

This is a horrifically cheesy movie.  It’s predictable.  It has terrible special effects.  The bad writing makes suspension of disbelief near impossible (meaning you spend quite a bit of time poking holes in the movie because you can’t get beyond how bad it is).  It’s incoherent.  It’s wholly yawn-inducing.

For someone like me who grew up with such masters of horror as Bela Lugosi, Lon Chaney Jr., Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee, Hugh Jackman simply doesn’t compare (especially when thrown together with such a badly written story and such a poorly produced movie).  I’ll watch anything with Hugh Jackman in it (at least once anyway) because I find the man to be so very worth watching (hey, I think the guy is excruciatingly sexy; what can I say?)  In the case of this particular movie, that was the first and last time I’ll ever watch it regardless of who’s in it.

Let’s put it this way…  When the end credits began to roll, the first thing out of my mouth was “What a terrible movie!”  My best one-word review of this little piece of trash worth forgetting would be “bah.”