I’m at home sick today, although I’m trying to get as much work done as possible because I have so much to do and can never seem to get caught up.  My stomach tied itself in knots yesterday afternoon and kept me awake much of the night.  Given the hectic schedule I’ve kept lately and the increasing difficulty I’ve had finding restful sleep, I suspect I’m just tired and stressed (a constant state of affairs for me now).  I can’t help but wonder if I’m quickly approaching the breaking point.

As I mentioned to Libby recently, work is teetering on brutality.  My plate is overflowing, I have taken abuse heretofore unknown from those above me, and despite my best efforts and many successes, I have yet to receive a single “thank you” or “attaboy” from my various bosses.  All of the 14-16 hour days go unnoticed.  All of the sacrifices are fruitless.  All of the hard work and excessive dedication to supporting the business are unrewarded.

I have never been one to seek congratulations for doing the job I am paid to do.  Nevertheless, “owning” the support of our business means I get a tremendous amount of complaints.  Anyone who provides a service to others understands the importance of the occasional demonstration of gratitude and can appreciate for months a single pronouncement of having been noticed for giving extra effort.  Where I work, that doesn’t seem to be the case.

I try diligently to recognize my employees for a good job, for due diligence in the face of overwhelming odds, for taking the extra steps to be proactive and trying to get ahead of the ball, and for handling very stressful circumstances with grace and agility.  No, I don’t make a habit of thanking them every day since we do pay them to do the job, but I also do not forgo thanking them on occasion to make certain they understand I see their efforts and appreciate what they’re doing.

Is it too much to ask for the same from my own management?  I think not, yet what I get is the polar opposite: brutal tongue lashings about minor issues that they do not fully understand, taken for granted and stepped on constantly to ensure the idiots above me can climb one rung higher, and a general impression of emotional and professional disposability.  Is it any wonder I’m sick when this has been the status quo for well over a year?  And it only keeps getting worse.