I do not know what fresh new hell has beset me in recent days, but again last night I was unable to sleep for more than a few hours.  I went to bed around 9 PM again.  Although I can’t be certain, I suspect I fell asleep relatively quickly — most likely before 10 PM.  Shortly after midnight I awoke, climbed out of bed, fetched a drink of water, played with The Kids briefly, and eventually found my way back between the sheets with grandiose hopes of another rapid fall into the ether world of slumber.  Just like the night before, I tossed and turned and struggled to catch the elusive sleep that seemed intentionally to avoid me.  I tried to fall asleep.  Tried.  Very.  Hard.

Sadly, the sandman had forsaken me yet again and would not be visiting me.  Resolved to endure yet another mostly sleepless night, I got out of bed shortly after 2 AM and busied myself with other activities, mostly hoping that I would become fatigued in the process and could enjoy at least a few more hours of sleep before morning.  That did not happen.  I read.  I wrote.  I stood outside and let the strong winds of change blow about me, finding myself almost certain I could sense the coming of the storms predicted for Wednesday evening.  I played with The Kids.  I surfed the web.  By 5 AM, I knew the cause was lost to time.  There would be no more sleep this day.  I would be forced to survive on minimal rest from the last two days.

I am unsure what is making my sleep so restless and elusive.  I know I am terribly stressed of late.  In fact, were my stress manifested as tangible kinetic energy, I am quite certain it could bend the very fabric of the universe.  I am simply that stressed.

Could that somehow be the origin off my sleep-deprived state?  Or is it more complex than such a simple explanation?  I sincerely do not know.  What I do know, however, is that I lack vigor in my physical, emotional and mental conditions because of it.

If the weather holds, we may get thunderstorms this evening and overnight.  In fact, it looks as though we may get our first severe weather of the season with threats of large hail and damaging winds.  I cannot deny the worry about such things, but I also cannot deny that storms bring me great comfort and renewal.  I can only hope that we do experience significant weather this evening.  That may well be the key to finding the restful sleep I so desperately need.

At this point, I know for certain that I cannot continue like this.  The lack of sleep weakens me in so many ways, as it does everyone else, and I can feel the edge forming around me that is both sharp and dull.