From Crooks and Liars (a transcript of Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist’s interview on Faux News):
HOST: You talk about a lot of issues that affect people’s lives. And yet you’re going to bring two constitutional amendments to the Senate floor in the next few weeks, one to ban same-sex marriage, another to ban flag-burning, both reportedly in the papers to mobilize your conservative base. I have to tell you, I talked to a Republican senator this week who said he may vote for both of them but said they’re both pandering. Are gay marriage and flag burning the most important issues the Senate can be addressing in June of 2006?
FRIST: Let me tell you what the agenda is real quick. Secure America’s safety here at home. I mentioned supporting our troops overseas, making sure we pass that supplemental bill, making sure we tighten down our borders. securing America, a healthier America, so we’ll continiue [sic] to –
HOST: All right. But …
FRIST: Let me tell you, right now there’s no prioritization there. Securing America’’ values. I hope tomorrow and today as people see that American flag, and I’m going to Arlington cemetery tomorrow and I’m going to see that flag waving on every grave over there. When you look at that flag and you tell me that right now people in this country are saying it’’ okay to desecrate that flag and to burn it and to not pay respect to it, is that important to our values as a people when we’ve got 130,000 people fighting for our freedom and liberty today? That is important. It may not be important here in Washington where people say, well, it’s political posturing and all, but it’s important to the heart and soul of the American people.
Marriage — marriage, you asked about. Right now. Why marriage today? Marriage is for our society that union between a man and a woman, is the cornerstone of our society. It is under attack today. Right now there are 13 states who passed constitutional amendments in the last year and a half to protect marriage. Why? Because in nine states today, activist judges, unelected activist judges are tearing down state laws in nine states today. That’s why I will take it to the floor of the Senate, simply define marriage as the union between a man and a woman.
He is right, poppets. Gay marriage and flag burning are the most critical issues we face. After all, our educational system is the best in the world; we have absolutely no crime; universal health care is available to everyone; poverty does not exist; no American has retirement concerns; anyone who wants a job has one; state and national budgets are balanced and sound without a bit of debt; the denizens of our great nation are not overburdened by taxes, and our tax system is fair and simple; we have cleaned up the environment and now tend it for the sake of future generations of humanity; there are no endangered species; anthropogenic global warming is but a memory; homelessness is a thing of the past; Congress is free of corruption and influenced only by the sole protected class in the Constitution: citizens; there remains no shred of the torturous practices once inflicted on others by our military and intelligence apparatus; roads and highways are faultless and never overcrowded; our nation is a shining beacon of civilization crowned with promise, equality, civility, benevolence, and fairness; immigration no longer vexes us; and our most blessed Constitution is upheld with the highest standards in seeing to it that liberty is protected at all costs.
I can not comprehend how anyone could question these heartwarming Republican priorities. With everything we have accomplished thus far, let us now turn our attention to the concerns of protecting marriage from constitutional equal protection and turning down the free speech knob in order to protect our nation’s flag. We can, through these steps, demonstrate our tolerance, egalitarianism, firmly held belief in freedom of expression, and respect of the Constitution as a declaration of rights and freedom and protections. I am overjoyed at this display of our nation’s founding principles.