I was forced yesterday to find a way of admitting myself to my own home after I locked myself out.  I’m admitting I broke in to my own home.

I won’t say how I became stranded outside, and I won’t say precisely how I eventually was able to procure a way back inside.

I will say this: I was creative.  Very creative.  I will not reveal, for obvious reasons, the exact procedure I used, but I will say that there are very few people on this planet who could duplicate my method.  It took me almost 30 minutes to locate the supplies necessary to break in, and that because I was shirtless, barefoot, keyless (both to home and car), and essentially without instrument in my quest.  Once I was in possession of everything I needed, it took all of five minutes to complete the steps necessary.  Originally, I was convinced “screwed” could not properly encapsulate my predicament (all the doors and windows were locked, I had nothing in my possession save the pair of shorts I was wearing, and the security locks [not accessible from outside] were intact on all but one of the exterior doors).  Also originally, I suspected I might be forced to break something (a window, for instance).  Despite the concerns, I knew I could MacGyver a solution given enough time and the correct paraphernalia.  I was right.