I don’t even remember where I first saw this concept.  To that unknown person: thanks!

Anyway, here’s a meme I thought was interesting enough to share.  The premise is simple: list five responses to each topic.

You’re welcome to join in via the comments if you wish.  If you do, you’re also welcome to modify the number of entries for each item if five is too unnerving.  If you’d rather just lurk, you can stick to reading my answers to reinforce your impression of how weird I am.

Please note my answers are in no particular order.

Things that scare me
Religion
The thought of unexpectedly being unable to care for my cats
Bill O’Reilly (and Faux News in general)
James Dobson and his Focus on the Family organization
Dying before we find extraterrestrial life

People who make me laugh
Stephen Colbert
Jon Stewart
Eddie Izzard
Jenny
xocobra

Things I hate the most
Practitioners of viscerally barbaric interpretations of religion (that’s all religions and most followers)
Reasonable followers of religion who do nothing to control their faiths’ radical members
Those who deny science, fact, and reason
Funerals
Sweet potatoes and yams

Things I don’t understand
Bigotry, racism, and intolerance
Religious hypocrisy
Anyone who believes torture is okay
My brothers
Animal cruelty and neglect

Things I’m doing right now
Drinking ice water
Typing the answers to this meme
Listening to Depeche Mode
Working on a new poem
Thinking about what’s for lunch

Things I want to do before I die
Visit Egypt, India, South Africa, Lebanon, Turkey, Europe (all of it), China, Japan, Russia, Latvia, and a host of other countries (why didn’t I just say “the world”?)
Write books — lots of books if I can get away with it
Have the right to get married even if I personally don’t exercise that right
Design and build my own house
Make a positive difference in the lives of people and animals and the environment

Things I can do
Write prolifically and, as Jenny pointed out, effusively (notice I make no claims to writing well)
Comprehend hard science and advanced mathematics
Kiss
Read
Understand people (which is probably what makes me hate them so much)

Ways to describe my personality
Outspoken
Compassionate
Supercilious
Devoted
Understanding

Ways I think others describe my personality
Vehement
Arrogant
Heathenish
Verbose
Aloof

Things I can’t do
Draw well
Get married
Tolerate narrow-mindedness
Stand the heat without going for misery’s jugular
Intentionally and directly kill an animal (cognitive dissonance…)

Things I think you should listen to
The silent cries of suffering from around the globe and from every living thing
Gustavo Santaolalla’s “De Usuahia a la Quiaca”
Keith Olbermann, especially when he feels strongly about something
Michael Tolcher’s I Am
Erasure and Depeche Mode (these are staples of any well-rounded audio diet)

Things you should never listen to
Anyone in the régime of George W. Bush (including Dick Cheney, Condi Rice, Karl Rove, Tony Snow, Bill Frist, Dennis Hastert, and the whole lot of ’em)
Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter, Bill O’Reilly, and their ilk
Anyone offering candy if you’ll just step a little closer (wait… is he cute?)
Religious leaders (isn’t it time you started thinking and reasoning for yourself?)
That slurring little voice inside that says one more drink/line/toke/bowl/hit/whatever won’t hurt

Things I’d like to learn
How to write better
Mandarin Chinese
To successfully manage ire
How to thrive doing what I love
The secret to hair growth

Favorite foods
Mexican and Japanese (they both get top billing)
Beer (what do you mean that’s not a food?)
Gram’s chili (sadly, she’s no longer around to make it)
Beer (well, if it’s not a food, I sure as hell know it’s a food group, right? what do you mean ‘no’!?)
Cookies (it’s a Rick thang; we luuurve gettin’ togetha and bakin’ us some oatmeal-chocolate chip cookies; mmmmmm mmmmmm good…)

Beverages I drink regularly
Water
Coffee
Chocolate milk (it’s a personal weakness if it’s the right kind)
Beer (oh, so I can say it here, huh? uh-huh, that’s what I thought , bitch…I was right… [working head side to side with hand on hip])
More water (sorry, but I drink more water than anything else)

Shows I watched as a kid (this will seriously demonstrate my age)
Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood
Sesame Street and The Electric Company
“Schoolhouse Rocks”
Star Trek: The Original Series
Lost in Space

Shows I watch now
Any Stephen King adaptation or work
Too much Animal Planet (e.g., Jane Goodall’s Heroes, Animal Precinct, The Little Zoo That Could, Animal Cops, Animal Planet Heroes, Emergency Vets, Meerkat Manor, Growing Up…, and so on ad infinitum)
A lot of Discovery Channel (MythBusters from time to time, the entire Walking with… series, and so on, but it’s more hit and miss)
House (although this season is thus far not reinforcing my desire to continue)
SciFi’s increasingly limited selection of worthwhile escapism (Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, Battlestar Galactica, and Doctor Who, an odd blip on the radar here and there, and even the occasional cheesy flick that’s just bad enough to provide mindless entertainment)