Anyone who lives in Texas can tell you what Spanglish is: the bastardized chimera of Spanish and English spoken by many Hispanics in an attempt to meld into an English-speaking society without a full mastery of the language.  It’s a definitive sign of effort and I don’t fault anyone for it, but it can lead to interesting—even frustrating—conversations for those who don’t know enough Spanish to fill in the gaps.  Context normally helps with translating the Spanish words as long as there’s enough English to build a reliable context.

It also works the other way.  As someone who speaks Spanish, I can’t tell you how pompously ignorant it sounds when people assume adding an “o” to the end of a word somehow makes it Spanish.  For instance: “I need an el forko.”  Or: “I’m going to el store-o in el caro.”  I often want to smack people who do that, but I suppose ignorance is bliss for some.

Apparently, Chinese speakers have the same issue when it comes to English, and it’s been so prolific in China that road signs and menus and similar public mediums include Chinglish.  It’s understandable because Chinese isn’t a literal language like English or Spanish.  Instead, it’s a conceptual language where words are defined by context and don’t have literal definitions.  That is, Chinese words are oblique representations earning strict meaning by what’s being said and not by the words alone.  That makes Chinglish less a conglomeration of two languages and more a humorous mess derived from trying to translate from one to another.

Here are a few examples of this:

Emergency exits at Beijing airport read “No entry on peacetime” and the Ethnic Minorities Park is named “Racist Park”.

[. . .]

A road sign on Beijing’s Avenue of Eternal Peace warns of a dangerous pavement with the words: “To Take Notice of Safe; The Slippery are Very Crafty”.

Menus frequently list items such as “Corrugated iron beef”, “Government abuse chicken” and “Chop the strange fish”.

What brings this up is the 2008 Olympics.  They’re to be held in China.  While stamping out Chinglish has been tried before (and always unsuccessfully), the Chinese government now realizes how imperative it is to clean up the mess before Beijing is inundated with foreigners.

Out of curiosity, I hunted around the web for other examples and found some that are quite entertaining.  Here’s a limited sampling.

Customer service telephone = “Complaining tel.”

Public toilet for the disabled = “Deformed man toilet” or “Crippled restroom”

Elevator for handicapped people = “Disabled Elevators”

In case of emergency, please call ##### = “When you across hard you can ring TEL #####”

Danger! No entry = “Danger! Inhibition astraddle transgress”

Don’t step on the grass = “We can’t stand the sight of mattress fragrant grass”

Warning in front of an escalator: “The too longer, too higher, overweight and the dangerous things are not allowed to be carried”

And another escalator caution: “The older, the children, the deformities, the patients and the pregnant women should take the escalator with his guardian together”

Emergency Exit = “Extraordinary Door”

Dried foods/dehydrated food = “Fuck Food”

Do not use the toilet while the train is stopping at a station = “Do not be occupying while stabilizing”

“De luxe Wireless Remote Controlled Retractable Door” = “The luxuring nothing rail remote controlling stretches out and draws back the door”

A caution sign in a male restroom: “Do not throw urine around”

Closed = “Drink tea”

A slogan on a type of candy: “Hey, so delicious, Let us try it fast.”

A type of cookie: “Burned Meal Biscuits”

Earthquake Memorial = “Anti-Earthquake Memorial”

If you have questions, please ask the official in charge = “Question Authority”

A note on a CD carrying case: “Bear & take the CD is handy.”

A warning on a head-mounted magnifying lens: “This product is made of acrylic. So don’t rub by chemical medicine to avoid lens spoil.”

Cleaning instructions for a toy: “Neuter soap or cleanser as cleaning liquid is recommendable.”

Some warnings on a candle: “Keep this candle out of children” and “Do not place in a draught when lit”  (I assume they meant drought, but even then it doesn’t really work.)

Something (???) about the speed indicator light on a scooter: “This indicatoy light flachee for the Aafety camiton pignel.”  (Honestly, I haven’t a clue.)

Anyway, that’s enough.  There’s a lot more out there and so much of it is too damn funny.  It’s an honest mistake when non-English speakers translate Chinese to English given the conceptual differences between the two.  I’m just glad China is making the effort to correct as much of it as possible before the Olympics, although I can’t imagine the lost entertainment value.