Yes, I agree: This word likely has never been and will never be used to describe me.

laconic (la·con·ic): / luh KON ik /
adjective

(1) using few words; expressing oneself using a minimum of words; concise, especially to the point of seeming rude or mysterious

[Via Latin Laconicus meaing “of Laconia,” from Greek Lakonikos meaning “Laconian,” from Greek Lakon meaning “a Laconian.”  Denizens of Laconia, especially those from its capital city of Sparta, were known for terseness of speech.]

Usage: The audience had been expecting an engaging and thorough presentation, so imagine their collective surprise when the laconic speaker offered a drive-by introduction before skipping quickly through the material.