Does it hurt if I imagine you here with me?  I mean again?  Nothing else occupies me so.  Perhaps you won’t think less of me for thinking more of you.

Yet it’s a rare day indeed for me not to think of you.

When we two parted, I doubt either of us truly let go.  I could hear that much in your voice when you called.  It was so late, so dark.  To my ears, however, never has such a sweet sound been offered.

And all the while, he lay in the next room snoring softly.  I wonder if he knew.  I wonder if it was a game to him.

Does it matter?  Not really.

As you told me of your day, I stretched out on the couch and rested my head on a pillow.  Only when I lifted my legs atop the opposite arm did I realize I was playing out that old scene we always put on.  You’d sit, I’d lie, my legs would be propped up on your lap, and you’d gently rub them as we spoke.

But your hands weren’t there.  It was just me, all alone… almost.

And I wondered if you missed me as much as I missed you.  The telephone seemed to echo that sentiment on your every word.  Besides, would someone separated so vehemently make such a point to carry on as if nothing had changed?  Would the calls continue like they have?  Would the surreptitious meetings for lunch or dinner happen quite as often?  Or at all?

More importantly, would it still feel the same?

I doubt it.

So I stare at a soulless computer screen while thinking of you.  I imagine my eyes resting on your hands as you sort through shells gathered at the beach.  This one for a necklace, this one for a vase, and this one for your desk at work.  I’d watch you build that necklace, fill that vase, and decorate that desk, and I’d do those things over and over again until time ended.

And then I’d want more.

When the call finished, I didn’t move.  I never did when you were here.  Why do something different now?

I wanted to enjoy the silence we once shared.  For that, I stayed quite still and didn’t speak.  Instead, I rested my heart and mind and body with memories full of you.

Is it possible to break up with someone without ever truly breaking up?

No matter.  I’ll be here quite a while.