Snowy egret

In morning light dappling through trees as the sun climbs above the horizon, my favorite spot on the lake bustles with activity.  Diurnal nature yawns and stretches and climbs from bed as a new day starts; its nocturnal counterpart slips under the covers and settles in for restful sleep.

Sunset Bay punctuates the hour with hunting, preening, bathing, grazing, and all manner of activity engaged in by the wondrous life that calls this place home.

A snowy egret (Egretta thula) wading through the shallows at White Rock Lake (20080614_06577)

This snowy egret (Egretta thula) in breeding plumage spends much time wading near shore in its hunt for breakfast.

A snowy egret (Egretta thula) standing in the shallows at White Rock Lake (20080614_06584)

It keeps me rather busy trying to follow it since a great deal of brush and reed growth forces me to dash to and fro seeking a place where I can take pictures.

A snowy egret (Egretta thula) standing in the shallows at White Rock Lake (20080614_06590)

Many times I see it strike the water; more than a handful of times I see it succeed in catching prey.

A snowy egret (Egretta thula) standing atop a log at White Rock Lake (20080614_06598)

Both an active and passive hunter, sometimes it stands still and waits for food to venture within reach and sometimes it moves quickly through the shallows stirring up food by shuffling its feet along the bottom.

A snowy egret (Egretta thula) hunting in the shallows at White Rock Lake (20080614_06613)

Rarely still for more than a minute and always in those places where I have no direct line of sight, eventually I leave the bird to its meal and wander toward the next adventure.

Nature Photography Day 2008

Today, June 15, is Nature Photography Day 2008.  I’d love to celebrate it by enjoying a long walk at the lake, but I don’t feel well today and intend to stay home and out of the heat and humidity.

Still, no one says I can’t join the revelry by sharing a little something from my collection.  Therefore, I’m going to post a few more entries to bring a bit of Texas nature to your screens.

Lean into it!

Grendel sitting by the patio door blanketed by sunshine (163_6367)

There’s something about this photo that tickles me.

Is it that Grendel appears to be leaning into the light, as though it exerts a force on him like wind such that he has to brace himself in order to remain within its warm embrace?

Or is that his position makes him look tubby, portly, like a little fatty whose plump belly supports him as much as his legs do?

Something else entirely?

[btw, that’s some portion of Vazra in the bottom-left corner]

A day of babies

Before dying early under the garrote of rain, yesterday morning’s walk at White Rock Lake proffered a great deal of the season’s new life.

A mallard duckling (Anas platyrhynchos) swimming alone far out on the lake (20080614_06724)

Plaintive cries drew me toward shore, toward the echoing yet weak sound of a mallard duckling (Anas platyrhynchos) alone, lamenting the dearth of its parents, calling for familiars absent.

I worried for the little bird, wondered about the father and mother nowhere to be seen.  I feared the worst.

For some time I shadowed the duckling as it swam parallel with me.

A mated pair of mallards eventually moved from nearby and headed toward the little one.  I felt at last a happy reunion would ensue, a family would be reunited, and a frightened child would be comforted.

Not so.  When the male adult neared the duckling, he immediately began chasing the small one and threatening it with loud challenges.

At that point, I felt certain the juvenile had lost its parents and had to fend for itself in a world full of threats and dangers.

Further still along the shore, its poor body certainly tired from the endless search, I finally heard the telltale call of a mother seeking her young.  From beneath a cloak of aquatic plants came parents seeking their child, and from far out in the water a young one responded in kind.

A mallard duckling and its mother (Anas platyrhynchos) after they are reuinted (20080614_06740)

I felt better, relieved, so I moved on.

Not too distant a walk from there I chanced upon various plants and insects which caught my eye.  Pausing to snap a photograph or two, I soon found myself the target of two adamant avians who made it clear I had trespassed into sacred territory.

When at last I sought explanation for the assaults, hidden amongst verdant shore cover was yet another baby.

An immature female red-winged blackbird (Agelaius phoeniceus) hiding in the reeds on the shore (20080614_06772)

It stood perched atop a cattail watching me closely and remaining utterly silent.  Its best defense was camouflage and the diversion created by its parents.

As for the mom and dad, they vehemently protested how near I stood to the baby, her from in front and him from behind, and each from their respective perches would complain loudly and make bombing runs toward me.

Had I been a predator intent on consuming their young one, all the commotion undoubtedly would make me think twice—or at least give me a livelier meal to chase.

Only the mother offered a brief pose as she made her way through the brush and reeds to position herself between her child and me.

A female red-winged blackbird (Agelaius phoeniceus) peering at me through the brush (20080614_06758)

Finally the young bird’s appearance made sense.  A red-winged blackbird (Agelaius phoeniceus), and one who happened to take after its mother.  That meant it was female.

I walked away and left them to their morning chores.  Mind you, I also had grown weary of the constant chiding I suffered from two very upset parents.  I wish they could understand that my stumbling upon their child was a testament to how well they keep it hidden, for I likely would not have seen it had I not known from their actions that something important was nearby.

Ominous clouds moved in over the course of hours, the sky growing darker and darker with each step.  I did not remember seeing rain in the forecast; nevertheless, I made my way toward home since what is predicted does not always equal what is made manifest.

Rain began to fall as I leisurely strolled along the shore of Sunset Bay.  The drops large and cool on such a warm and humid morning, I took steps to protect the camera but otherwise did not hurry my pace.

I paused beneath a large maple in response to the machine-gun chirps of a bird high in the branches.  Such excited calls.

An immature orchard oriole (Icterus spurius) hiding in dense foliage (20080614_06779)

There hidden behind dense foliage near the end of a branch was yet another baby, various shades of gold and gray masterfully suited to bedazzle and beguile.

Its perch limited my ability to see it.  Either I had to look directly up at that place where the sun struggled to pierce the deepening cloud cover, or I had to peer through a tiny space between the leaves and hope the wind stopped long enough for me to snap a photo or two.

The first position deemed impossible due to the bright sky and dark leaves causing too much contrast, I moved from beneath the tree and took up station where I had the best view of the small window in the branches, which of course placed me standing in the rain that continued to increase in intensity (although, at that time, still but a sprinkle, yet a sprinkle of large raindrops I might add).

My jockeying for position had not deafened me, however, for I could hear the rain and other wildlife and wind.  What I couldn’t hear was the bird.  It had been so vocal just moments before, so full of spring sound that tickled the ears like harps plucked by master hands.

Then as quickly as it had fallen silent, the juvenile burst into melodious refrains overflowing with anticipation and enthusiasm.

Even with the rain falling onto the lens, I lifted the camera and focused on that tiny hole in the leaves that offered the only view of this hidden perch.

Then she arrived like lightning, appearing from out of nowhere and taking position just above the child.

A female orchard oriole (Icterus spurius) feeding her young (20080614_06782)

An orchard oriole (Icterus spurius).

In response to her approach and arrival, the immature bird sang a tune so magical that I felt childhood welling up within me, a sense of wonder and beauty at the simplest of things.

But the rain came harder, the drops larger, and the wind closed my eye on this family more often than not, so I turned and sought shelter on the trail that skirts the woodlands.  It would carry me all the way home without exposing me to the storm that brewed overhead.

Mercy killing?

I’m inclined to think as much.

Twelve months ago almost to the day, I discovered a wounded dragon on my patio.  Despite my best hopes, what became necessary visited upon me the vexation of doing what had to be done, the painful ending of a sweet and innocent life that faced unconquerable suffering and death.

Now comes the same dilemma with the paper wasp cursed to spend its anguished and short life trying to overcome what cannot be dominated.  As I noted in the comments on that post:

As for the wasp, she’s still there—now more than 48 hours after I first discovered her.  Although I’m no expert, what I can tell is that her wings don’t work properly.  I suspect but couldn’t prove that her second pair are malformed in some way.  A birth defect, I suspect.

She won’t survive and certainly won’t procreate.

And while I certainly can help in such cases when they involve most creatures, certain insects included, this one is beyond my abilities—let alone the care of anyone who has knowledge enough to assist.  That bothers me, as does her eventual fate.

Sometimes nature’s ways aren’t easy to witness.

Even now she remains trapped, incarcerated by the foliage that protects her.  Every attempt to take flight results in the sporadic disasters that define her existence.

She will never fly, never escape.  This tiny spot of shrubbery outlines all that she can know, all that she can experience.

And meanwhile, her body wastes away from thirst and hunger, neither of which can ever be satisfied.

Her drive to procreate goes unheeded.

I stand in witness.

…finally, later than when this post began…

To paraphrase my own thoughts one year ago when faced with similar yet different circumstances:

Had it been possible, I would have cut from my flesh the very life you needed to survive.  But it could not be done.

I […] wished for the miracle that I already knew would never happen.  I could see how badly you […] hurt, […] yet even still I pondered what nature might accomplish given the chance.

[You occupied] a safe place hidden from predators and the sun, an isolated plot of space where I knew you could breathe fresh air, hunt if you were so inclined, escape if the will and energy burgeoned within your small frame.

[…]

Even then I knew, yet even then I denied the truth of what had to be done.

After checking upon you several times during my morning routine, I wished you health and recovery before leaving for the day.  I ensured no harsh sunlight would attack you, that no predator could find you.  It was all I could do save what I did not wish to do.

Why should it be my responsibility?  It required of me an action I abhor, a moment of brutal strength and cold compassion that I did not feel myself capable of.  How could anyone ask this of me?  Why would they?

And so I pondered your fate throughout the day, cursory glances into a mental room wherein stood the dark specter of what I already knew.  I hated him, that ghoulish figure, constantly beckoning to me to practice what I hate most in humans.  But he also showed me it encompassed the best of our species.  Ah, the dichotomy of humanity.

Hellish heat notwithstanding, I bathed in my own sweat later in the day while standing above your still living body.  Why hadn’t you moved from that place?  Why?

Already I knew what was required of me.  No doubt existed in my mind or heart.  I despised them for that, for knowing and feeling that way.  And I resented you.

What nature had not completed in its first attempt I was forced to finish.  The inhumanity of being humane!

I dared not wait any longer.  How scared you must have been, unable to run or hide, to hunt or eat.  How terrified you must have been not understanding why things had changed so dramatically, and why your hunger and fear continued to grow as your body grew weaker.

I cared not to play witness to your demise in such atrocious ways, to starve, to be too exposed, to slowly feel your life ebbing away with every inhalation, every exhalation, and to never understand what lay in store because [you] had been wounded too deeply.

My own tears made the task all the more difficult.  I had no doubts it was the right thing to do.  No doubts at all.

What an ugly place to dwell in when a life is at stake, to have no uncertainty when killing.

And so I chose an implement that would be final, one that would be unforeseen to you, one that would allow me a single motion to complete the most unpleasant of tasks.

What despair you suffered is now over.  What dreadful fate stood before you is now dispatched and forgotten.

At my hands, though, and that is what troubles me.  Doing the right thing often does not equal doing the easy thing, or the thing that feels good, or the thing that we want to do.

Will you ever forgive me?  Can I ever forgive myself?

Even now the deed is done.  Already done, already witnessed by those who watched.  Even now a life has ended.