Abandoned or lost?

How does one measure cruelty?  And when it comes to animals, does outrage stem from the depth of the cruelty or is the cruelty enough within itself to warrant condemnation?

I stepped outside a few moments ago with a small bowl of kibble, a bit of replenishing stock to fill the revolving trough of cat food that I once again keep outside.

Both Psiwa and Clance returned to these shores but a month or so ago, neither of whom had I seen for quite some time.

Living where so much nature and civilization meld together in dangerous combinations, I feared for both of them, feared for what had become of two very sweet and innocent souls.

Yet when the raft of life once more deposited them upon the beach of my existence, I fell prey to that tenderness they share with me, that comradeship they offer with beautiful regularity.

So I noticed when outside a bit earlier that the food supply had grown thin.  Only a handful of nuggets remained where a veritable feast had been placed just this morning.

No sooner had I stepped through the door when at the corner of the patio I noticed a ginger bit of fluff caught mid-stride, eyes watching me carefully.

Then it spoke.

I responded.

It spoke again.

Feeling it must be hungry with its stark outline revealing the need for sustenance, I shook the plastic bowl and let the nourishment dance inside, the sound of it recognizable to any canine or feline who grew up being provided for by humans.

Immediately the cat brightened, cheer washing over its face as it ran to my location, pausing briefly on the other side of the fence, speaking the whole time.

I knew then the poor cat was someone’s friend—had been a friend rather.

Despite its wounded eye and worn coat, despite its thin body pleading for victuals, the constant vocalizations told me my newest guest trusted people, missed its previous home, recognized a caring person.

I grabbed a handful of food and knelt down.  I undoubtedly would have to place the food outside the fence as this orange tabby tuxedo most assuredly was unfamiliar with the entrances and exits to the patio.

I was wrong.

Showing a familiarity that both pleased and intrigued me, the cat zoomed by me and rushed to an opening in the fence, squeezed through effortlessly, then came to me with such haste and verbal engagement that I felt I must be looking at a long lost love.

It rubbed against me, speaking the whole time, and it stood right beside me as I placed the dish in front of it.

Him, I mean, for at that moment the chap rubbed against me again before turning around long enough for me to see he was indeed a male.

He dove into the meal as soon as I set the container on the ground.  I remained beside him as I sipped a beer and watched him.

Famished.  Purely, unequivocally famished.

Half the kibble disappeared within a few minutes, his only pauses rested between chewing and catching his breath.

And when he finished?

He wanted more attention, more conversation.

A bit of matted fur, a bit of drainage from the eye, and neither frightened me.  I certainly could wash my hands before I touched The Kids.  They would be safe.  At that moment, however, this cat needed love, needed to feel what it had felt before prior to its new life at the lake.

His familiarity with the patio leads me to believe he has visited here before, visited often enough to know precisely the ins and outs in unadulterated detail.

For when he exited through the fence and meandered about, I walked to the opposite end of the concrete floor by the other passage.

He followed, suddenly full of verve again, suddenly desperate for more conversation.

In his pursuit of me, he rushed along the fence, turned at the concrete pillar, then dashed through the entrance at my feet as though he’d done it a hundred times before.

This chap is no stranger to my home.

And I run headlong back to the question at hand: What makes cruelty?

Is it that he was abandoned, this poor soul in search of a bite to eat and a touch of human companionship?  Or is that he was lost by those who obviously taught him not to fear us but instead to cherish and trust us?

Were it the former—that he was abandoned—he would be yet another statistic here at White Rock Lake, another of the local cats who started life with adoration for and from people.  I have rescued three such felines in recent years from this very place, three felines who had at least some experience with our kind (some better than others).

Were it the latter—that he was lost—his statistical change would be minimal at best.  And what of those who lost him?  Are they looking for him?  Do they even care?  I’ve seen no indication of a search for this feline.  And I do take notice of all such searches in this area as I have my hand on the pulse of the local population (feline, canine, wildlife, human and otherwise).  If anyone is searching for this beloved soul, it’s not apparent.

Waiting for the light

Life sometimes feels like a flower holding its breath in anticipation of sunshine.  It’s as though the night is the hardship and stress we all feel, and the day to come is the promise of a better season.

And sometimes the night seems to go on forever, to last an eternity.  Yet the bleak torment must eventually give way to sunrise.

It’s simply a matter of patience and perseverance.

Plains sunflowers (a.k.a. petioled sunflower or prairie sunflower; Helianthus petiolaris) facing east just before sunrise (20080726_09939)

Before sunlight spilled over the trees on the eastern shore of White Rock Lake, these plains sunflowers (a.k.a. petioled sunflower or prairie sunflower; Helianthus petiolaris) began their methodical turn toward daylight.  They would spend the rest of the day following the sun’s progress across the sky.

A water lily (Nymphaea sp.) waiting for sunrise before opening its petals (20080809_10484)

Floating atop the still waters of Big Cypress Bayou, this water lily (Nymphaea sp.) held its bloom in anticipation of sunshine slowly creeping over the trees on the opposite bank.

Stung

Like flesh afire.

Like limbs alight with the agony of despair.

Like acid coursing through every vein until it burns in agony from head to toe.

Like a toxin made manifest in my own blood.

Like trying to find breath in a vacuum.

Like seeing the end loom large and lurid in the light of every blink.

Sunday a wasp stung me.

A paper wasp.

What species exactly I don’t know.

The messenger means little in this regard; the message is always the same: anaphylaxis.

Ant.  Wasp.  Bee.  They all mean the same to me, to my body, to the very essence that carries me from day to day yet sees these creatures as the most deadly assault conceivable.

So here I am.

Several shots of steroids later; a veritable pharmacy of drugs flowing through me in a race against time.

Who will win?

The venom?

Or the medication?

Whatever horrific pain I feel, whatever terrible torments beset me, so far I can say the doctors have bested their opponents.

So far anyway.

It will take months for my body to mend from this torture.  The wound on my back will undoubtedly remain for some time as a reminder of how easy it is for me to meet my doom.

But I press on.  I keep going.

No matter how hard I try to avoid it, there are times when nature puts me in my place with but a simple sting.

Ouch.

Kicking logs

People think me mad when I say they should kick a log—at least once, if not a few times—before stepping over it.  While meandering about the Audubon nature trails last January, I said as much to a group of teenagers who had lost their way through the maze of woodlands as they spent the morning picking up trash (an admirable weekend endeavor for young people, something else I said to them before they ventured on).

They stumbled upon me as I knelt above a ravine photographing anything that caught my attention.  I heard them coming for some time, most of which entailed this oft repeated question: “Where are we?”

After seeking my guidance on how to get out of the forest and back to civilization, and after I told them I felt sincere gratitude in seeing them putting their weekend toward collecting refuse others had carelessly left behind, I added in parting words that they should not step over any logs unless they kicked them first.  “A few times would be best,” I added.

“Why?” one of the young ladies asked.

“Mostly because of what you can’t see,” I replied, “like snakes.”

A collective shiver ran over the dozen or so young adults, yet agreeable nods from most of them meant they understood.  They were, after all, in nature’s realm.

Truth be told, fallen trees provide marvelous cover for a variety of wildlife seeking a bit of refuge from a predator, a cool spot of shade in which to recuperate from the day’s heat, a place to sleep or something to camouflage them as they stealthily await the opportunity to ambush prey.

So during a recent jaunt to those same trails on the western shore of White Rock Lake, I found the proof I needed to justify the “kicking logs” approach.

Unlike my previous visit when the starkness of winter made the area ghostly and open, I found a very different world this time.

A trail leading through dense woodlands (20081004_13064)

Lush greenery filled every corner.  Trees swayed gently in the wind as verdant foliage reached toward the heavens.

A trail leading through dense woodlands (20081004_13068)

The first dappling of fallen leaves touched the trails beneath a canopy of life, and the underbrush seemed to reach out in vivid detail.

A trail leading through dense woodlands (20081004_13074)

It behooved me to carefully watch my surroundings, from the ground beneath my feet to the air that brushed my cheeks to the leaves and branches that surrounded me on all sides.

More than once I nearly stepped through a massive spider web or put my foot into an anthill.  And that says nothing of the scorpions and wasps that lurked about as they started their day.

But it was when I approached a fallen tree across the path that I remembered how best to get over it.

I gave it a few flat-footed kicks to rock it back and forth.

That’s when a southern copperhead (Agkistrodon contortrix contortrix) slithered out from beneath the log and stopped fully across the path right in front of me.

Because of the cavernous dark created by the woods, the few images I took at that moment showed nothing but a shadowy blur as the snake proceeded from the trail into the brush to my left.

I followed.  At a respectable distance.

A southern copperhead (Agkistrodon contortrix contortrix) slithering off into the underbrush (20081004_13086)