Sitting and strutting

A sense that life must be found, discovered, pursued until it succumbs to the whims of a camera lens, or binoculars, or naked eyes.  A headlong rush to see, to scamper hurriedly to the next luscious visual, and the next, and the next.  A flagrant hop from plate to plate whilst consuming only a sample of what each contains, an endless dining without stopping, a meal that satiates only in brief moments of time but always gives way to an empty longing for the next taste, the next morsel, the next bite.

Sometimes I wander about nature’s buffet without pausing to savor, pushed along by a jittery need to move.  Walk, stroll, hike, or whatever name it takes at the time.  These are not bad things.  Yet so much hides in my hurrying.

One of my favorite pastimes is sitting.  Sitting and watching, sitting and listening, sitting and absorbing.  And I’ve learned that nature finds comfort in that stillness, in that silence.

So it was as I recently sat upon a hillside with sunshine blanketing the world that a strutting male great-tailed grackle (Quiscalus mexicanus) shared the leisure of the morning with me, shared the warm slope that supported us.

Male great-tailed grackle (Quiscalus mexicanus) walking through winter grass (2010_03_06_050577)

All black birds captivate me.  Subtle beauty painted in fine brushstrokes of darkness.  The energy used in the production of bright colors shunted to the production of extra personality instead.  Under appreciated and oft overlooked.

Male great-tailed grackle (Quiscalus mexicanus) walking through winter grass (2010_03_06_050580)

That my favorite bird is the red-winged blackbird (Agelaius phoeniceus)—and has been since kindergarten—no doubt says a great deal about my adoration for dark avifauna.  No flashy designs and no showy colors; just a sense of simple beauty in which hides a kaleidoscope of awe.

Male great-tailed grackle (Quiscalus mexicanus) walking through winter grass (2010_03_06_050592)

I watched the grackle as he strutted through russet grass speckled with spring’s verdant green.  He grabbed an insect here and there, turned this way and that, carried on with his morning as though I did not exist.

Male great-tailed grackle (Quiscalus mexicanus) standing and looking around (2010_03_06_050594)

All the while I lost myself in the iridescent rainbow hiding in the black of his plumage.  That people can find these birds anything but beguiling and majestic leaves me speechless.  They are a proud species, and no matter the derision and dislike that surrounds them, they intend to go on being proud.

Male great-tailed grackle (Quiscalus mexicanus) walking through winter grass (2010_03_06_050571)

Then, head held high, chest puffed out with pride, he marched by as though in a parade, as though on display for all the world to see.  Then he was gone, wings carrying him to the next plot of land, the next branch, the next sumptuous delight to include in his breakfast menu.

And I remained where I was, still sitting, still observing, waiting for the next encounter.

Writ upon the brow of lonely men

In times and tribulations writ upon the brow of lonely men, what say the children of humanity?  Do they see innocence and suffering, or do they only see another beggar on the street?

And if I try to be someone else?  Dare I be a stranger to some and a familiar to others?  Or a stranger to all?

What comes beckons from yesterday.  No todays sound in its voice, and fear alone sings its lamentable chorus from empty promises woven from tomorrows.

Do I beg for the rest of my life?  What I wait for is the more I seek.  Can you give it to me?  Or would you deny me?

This is who I really am.  Inside skin wrapped taught over the limits of infinity, within packages made of hopeless promise and desperate satisfaction, what breaks me can neither be told nor hidden.  And would you refuse me such a thing?

Or anyone else?

Suffering in a broken lineage of discovery wrought of searches both endless and finite, dare I mention the me revealed is not the me shown?

This is who I really am.  Would you reject me thus or embrace me as one would a brother?

What life has been displayed now seems a trite fakery, an imitation of what was, is, and will be, but what has so far been denied.

Perhaps in fear.  Perhaps in desperation.  Perhaps in longing for conformity and belonging.

It matters not.

In minutes near and far I see unfilled and unfulfilled promises as the lies they are.  This is not for me.  Not now.  Not any more.

It’s that time of year again

Last year about this time I photographed a pair of red-shouldered hawks getting to know each other in the biblical sense.  They’re the same hawks whose new nest I discovered a few weeks back.

So yesterday I checked on the nest.  She was settled down far enough to make her difficult to see, but at least they appear serious about using that location.  I snapped a few pictures to record her presence, then I continued on with a leisurely walk around White Rock Lake.

Near the meadows of Winfrey Point I heard killdeer (Charadrius vociferus) up the hill from me and decided to try for some photos.  Thankfully one of them was being vocal enough to make them locatable.

Two killdeer (Charadrius vociferus) standing in a meadow (2010_03_06_050633)

At that point all I could tell was that the one on the right was talking.  Not vocal as in loud, but vocal in a way that had a “come hither” feel to it.  I experienced an immediate sense of familiarity.  With the one talking and the other one approaching, it reminded me of the hawks from last year.  It didn’t take long to see that it’s that time of year again, the time of year when “go forth and multiply” becomes nature’s motto.

Mating killdeer (Charadrius vociferus) (2010_03_06_050670)

I felt somewhat like a peeping Tom.  Worse even because I was taking pictures.  Silliness aside, there’s something beautiful about nature doing its thing, not at all worried for appearances or prude human sensibilities.

A male killdeer (Charadrius vociferus) dismounting a female after mating (2010_03_06_050672)

The deed done, he dismounted—albeit not with the grace he intended.  She flinched her wing as he stepped, so off he tumbled.  But he recovered with dignity and walked away as though he’d done her a favor.  I giggled.

She moved in my direction as he moved away.  I was still some distance away from either of them, so I took a slow step toward her thinking I might grab a couple of closer shots before leaving them to their morning.  That’s when something interesting happened.

Male killdeer (Charadrius vociferus) standing in a meadow and watching me (2010_03_06_050674)

He ran a short distance back in my direction before turning around.  He watched me.  Closely.

Male killdeer (Charadrius vociferus) distracting me from his mate (2010_03_06_050687)

So I took one more slow step toward her.  He then parted his wings enough to show some bright rufous as he took several quick steps away from me.  He added some vocalizations to increase the effectiveness of his display.  Having spent so much time last year documenting their diversionary tactics, I know well enough that showing the flashy rump color is meant to grab the attention of threats.  Only I’d never seen it used without a nest to protect.

And when I took a few steps backward—away from her—he closed his wings yet remained where he stood, and he watched me closely.  Mate guarding.  I’d never seen the behavior before; nevertheless, there’s no doubt he was making himself a more obvious target to distract me from her.

A few of my favorite things #4

Spring flowers—and lots of ’em.  This is but a sample from the last few days.  From here on out it’s an explosion of color.  I promise not to share them all at once.

Close-up of blooming Missouri violet (a.k.a. banded violet; Viola missouriensis) (2009_03_07_012109)

Missouri violet (a.k.a. banded violet; Viola missouriensis)

Close-up of blooming roadside blue-eyed grass (a.k.a. dotted blue-eyed grass or southern blue-eyed grass; Sisyrinchium langloisii) (2009_04_11_014922)

Roadside blue-eyed grass (a.k.a. dotted blue-eyed grass or southern blue-eyed grass; Sisyrinchium langloisii)

Close-up of blooming redstem stork's bill (a.k.a. pin clover, redstem filaree or common stork's-bill; Erodium cicutarium) (2009_03_08_012539)

Redstem stork’s bill (a.k.a. pin clover, redstem filaree or common stork’s-bill; Erodium cicutarium)

Close-up of blooming shepherd's purse (Capsella bursa-pastoris) (2010_02_20_049841)

Shepherd’s purse (Capsella bursa-pastoris)

Close-up of blooming crowpoison (a.k.a. crow poison or false garlic; Nothoscordum bivalve) (2009_03_08_012511)

Crowpoison (a.k.a. crow poison or false garlic; Nothoscordum bivalve)

Blooming common grape hyacinth (Muscari botryoides [sometimes Hyacinthus botryoides]) (2009_03_08_012623)

Common grape hyacinth (Muscari botryoides [sometimes Hyacinthus botryoides])

Close-up of blooming henbit (a.k.a. henbit deadnettle or greater henbit; Lamium amplexicaule) (2010_02_20_049844)

Henbit (a.k.a. henbit deadnettle or greater henbit; Lamium amplexicaule)

Close-up of blooming Texas ragwort (a.k.a. Texas groundsel, Texas butterweed or Texas squaw-weed; Senecio ampullaceus) (2009_03_07_012215)

Texas ragwort (a.k.a. Texas groundsel, Texas butterweed or Texas squaw-weed; Senecio ampullaceus); note the crab spider in the lower right corner (no name for the little critter as I didn’t pull enough details in any of the photos to make a positive ID, though I can narrow it down to a genus or two)

[all photos from White Rock Lake]

put on your faces – domestic muscovy duck

(2009_04_10_014584)

Domestic Muscovy duck (Cairina moschata); typical female (hen)

(2009_04_10_014597)

Domestic Muscovy duck (Cairina moschata); white breed female (hen)

[domestic Muscovy ducks will always hold a special place in my heart (see this for an explanation); the feral population that lives at White Rock Lake is diverse and energetic, and I can watch them ad infinitum because they fill me with fond memories of childhood; not to mention these birds are full of personality]