Epigraphs – Quote 8

The eighth random epigraph from Dreamdarkers, my first novel, this quote—the most important—coming from The Great God Pan by Arthur Machen.

We know what happened to those who chanced to meet the Great God Pan, and those who are wise know that all symbols are symbols of something, not of nothing.  It was, indeed, an exquisite symbol beneath which men long ago veiled their knowledge of the most awful, most secret forces which lie at the heart of all things; forces before which the souls of men must wither and die and blacken, as their bodies blacken under the electric current.  Such forces cannot be named, cannot be spoken, cannot be imagined except under a veil and a symbol, a symbol to the most of us appearing a quaint, poetic fancy, to some a foolish tale.  But you and I, at all events, have known something of the terror that may dwell in the secret place of life, manifested under human flesh; that which is without form taking to itself a form.

Epigraphs – Quote 7

The seventh random epigraph from Dreamdarkers, my first novel, this quote coming from Meditations on First Philosophy by Rene Descartes.

I am accustomed to sleep and in my dreams to imagine the same things that lunatics imagine when awake.

A timid approach named curiosity

Upon a desolate road I sat, a dirt road stretching between nowhere and no place.  Beneath the simmering sun I cooled myself in the car as I watched and waited.  Not for anything in particular, mind you, but instead I waited for anything.  That’s when she arrived, a female white-tailed deer (a.k.a. whitetail deer; Odocoileus virginianus).

A female white-tailed deer (a.k.a. whitetail deer; Odocoileus virginianus) rounding a grassy hillock (2009_05_22_020070)

Behind the windshield’s sunscreen I hunkered, behind the dark window tint I hid, and from there I watched her as she approached, finally taking station in the shade of an Ashe juniper (a.k.a. post cedar, mountain cedar or blueberry juniper; Juniperus ashei).

A female white-tailed deer (a.k.a. whitetail deer; Odocoileus virginianus) standing in the shade of a tree (2009_05_22_020068)

Repeatedly she glanced at the car, its quiet motor humming, its occupant camouflaged from view, only brief movements of the camera lens visible.  But obviously the click of the dSLR’s shutter called to her, for each photo captured brought her gaze back to me, back to the car.

A female white-tailed deer (a.k.a. whitetail deer; Odocoileus virginianus) watching and listening closely (2009_05_22_020066)

Expecting her to flee the unknown, much to my surprise she turned and approached, timidly, slowly, carefully, yet always forward, always looking, always curious.

Close-up of a female white-tailed deer (a.k.a. whitetail deer; Odocoileus virginianus) as she looks at the camera (2009_05_22_020080_c)

Eventually near enough for me to toss a rock to her, she stopped and stared, so docile and inquisitive, so standoffish and peculiar.  How I stared, wondering about this odd behavior, wondering what behooved her to seek enlightenment rather than shelter.

Close-up of a female white-tailed deer (a.k.a. whitetail deer; Odocoileus virginianus) as she looks timid yet curious (2009_05_22_020077)

A step closer she came, still curious, but when the shutter sounded this time, her ears went back with surprise and worry, yet she remained probing and unmoving, almost meek and needful.  Finally I stopped photographing her, instead choosing to watch her, to watch this strange and timid approach named curiosity.

Never before or since have I known a wild deer to be so forgiving of human encroachment in the name of satisfying unadulterated interest.

Epigraphs – Quote 6

The sixth random epigraph from Dreamdarkers, my first novel, this quote coming from Hecuba by Euripides.

[D]o we, holding that the gods exist, deceive ourselves with insubstantial dreams and lies, while random careless chance and change alone control the world?