Tag Archives: eastern phoebe (Sayornis phoebe)

Say what you need to say

No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous.
— Henry Adams

Eastern phoebe (Sayornis phoebe) singing from a tree branch (2009_03_08_012482)

I’ve never seen a bird hesitate to speak its mind.  And that even in the absence of an obvious audience.  They say what they need to say, and they do so without fear or hesitation.  There’s much to be learned from this habit.

Walking on the bridge to nowhere has afforded me an opportunity to view life through a unique lens, one not used by most people I know.  One of the first things I noticed?  Unspoken words.

Do we assume things need not be said, that those we might say them to already know what we might say and we therefore have no reason to say them?  Do we think we’ll be seen as silly for saying the obvious?  Do we fear the response?  Do we struggle clumsily with language and think we can’t communicate what needs to be said, at least not with the depth of spirit with which it’s meant?  Do we assume there will be time later to say these things?

There seems more than certain logic in this axiom: it’s better to say too much than not enough.  Yet even I must admit a great deal has gone unsaid in my life, some of it now too late to say.  And part of that embarrasses me for I am an advocate of people recognizing the impermanence of life and the lack of time promised.  The only moment we’re guaranteed is the moment we’re in right now.  That’s also the only life we can live.  Anything beyond right now is nothing more than conjecture.

A male northern mockingbird (Mimus polyglottos) singing from a treetop (2009_02_20_010310)

For you see, setting foot upon the bridge to nowhere came unbeknownst to me.  I journeyed along thinking myself on the path I intended when in fact I had slowly come to be on the trail I now follow.  And when I made that known to others?  I discovered getting on the bridge came like a sunburn.

You lie happily in the sun turning yourself every fifteen minutes or so thinking about how gorgeous your tan will be.  Meanwhile, everyone around you is thinking you’re looking awfully pink and maybe you should head into the shade for a bit.  Each time they look, you’re a bit further along toward a burn, but for you you’re just toasty and in progress.  Only when the damage is done are you aware of it, yet so many saw it coming all along.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not laying blame.  I’m as guilty of this as the next person.  What I know stems from what came after I disclosed the bridge to nowhere.  “Perhaps that explains…”  “We had been thinking…”  “I noticed…”  Each response surprised me for each came like the onlooker who after the sunburn mentions how they thought you’d been looking like a freshly boiled lobster for the last hour.

Being on the bridge to nowhere surprised me.  It didn’t surprise many around me.  I wish I had known what they knew.  I wish someone had said something.

A male great-tailed grackle (Quiscalus mexicanus) calling out (2008_12_07_001616)

Yet it’s not just the question of what might have been had I known what others saw when they saw it.  It’s also the question of opportunities missed.

I lost a grandmother, an aunt and an uncle in the last two years.  I lost three friends just in the past two months.  Each loss reminded me that I had not said what I should have said, at least not recently.  Sure, each of them knew I loved them, but how long had it been since I reiterated that?  Had they known my feelings in light of maturity or only from past disclosures tainted by age?

Too much goes unsaid in life.  Walking on the bridge to nowhere made that very clear to me.  Like the birds who speak when they need to speak no matter if anyone is listening, we humans need to recognize that it’s better to say too much than not enough.

For me, words are a form of action, capable of influencing change.
— Ingrid Bengis

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Photos:

  1. Eastern phoebe (Sayornis phoebe)
  2. Northern mockingbird (Mimus polyglottos)
  3. Male great-tailed grackle (Quiscalus mexicanus)

Let them sing

In songs I cannot hold I feel the world touch me.  In places I cannot go I find myself wandering through a landscape of music.  In voices familiar I find unknown friends.

Eastern phoebe (Sayornis phoebe) singing from a tree branch (2009_03_08_012482)

I cannot deny the totality of my failure.  More always can be taken.  I have no escape from that palpable lesson of loss.

A drake wood duck (Aix sponsa) calling out at sunset (2009_02_13_008525)

Yet I find that dark moment at least partially illuminated with the brightness of song, a chorus of voices innumerable and vast.

A female red-shouldered hawk (Buteo lineatus) calling out from the treetops (2009_02_03_006168)

Like carolers some bring their gifts right to my door, yet others I must seek out like opera.

A domestic greylag goose (Anser anser) honking as it swims by (2009_02_03_006504)

The calls of life surround me, blanket me in a warmth that permeates the darkest cold.

A domestic Indian runner (a.k.a. Indian runner duck or runner; Anas platyrhynchos) quacking at sunset (2009_02_03_007053)

Standing witness to this musical legion balms the open sore of failure and begins healing the wounded self.

A Carolina wren (Thryothorus ludovicianus) singing from the bushes surrounding the patio (2009_01_31_005332)

It’s somewhat like taking alms from the universe.

A male great-tailed grackle (Quiscalus mexicanus) calling out (2008_12_07_001616)

Yet I feel no shame in receiving this charity, this gift from those who have it to give.

A male northern mockingbird (Mimus polyglottos) singing from a treetop (2009_02_20_010310)

Let them sing.  And let me lose myself in the singing.

For even today the needful, lonesome calls of mourning doves filled the shadowy hours of dawn, and I let my eyes climb the tree outside the patio as they followed the plaintive calls to those offering their voices to the chill morning: a pair who had already built a nest in the outer branches.  This can help.

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Photos:

[1] Eastern phoebe (Sayornis phoebe)

[2] Wood duck (Aix sponsa), drake

[3] Red-shouldered hawk (Buteo lineatus), female

[4] Domestic greylag goose (Anser anser)

[5] Indian runner (a.k.a. Indian runner duck or runner; Anas platyrhynchos), domestic breed

[6] Carolina wren (Thryothorus ludovicianus)

[7] Great-tailed grackle (Quiscalus mexicanus), male

[8] Northern mockingbird (Mimus polyglottos), male

Birds I never knew – The End

Haphazard photos taken with the assumption that what lurked at the other end of the lens was something more common than what was discovered in the image later.  Running down a hill snapping picture after picture of something flitting about the shore so far away that I felt convinced it would be better displayed in my memories than in the camera.  A flippant photograph, one taken over my shoulder with nary a thought.

I can’t help but think I chance upon a great many of the images shared here, and not by skill or preparation as much as luck.

Which brings us to the end of our story…

A female yellow-rumped warbler (Dendroica coronata) perched behind bare branches (20071228_00463)

A female yellow-rumped warbler (Dendroica coronata).  I saw across the floodplain in a barren tree some tiny bit of movement as I walked through dry grass.  Winter had long taken hold of the world.  That meant no foliage protected whatever life busied itself in the nearby woodlands.  Still trying to gain comfort with my new camera at the time, I held it up and clicked a few images of what I believed to be a mockingbird.  Thankfully the lens knew better than I and helped clear up the confusion by seeing more clearly than I did.

A male yellow-headed blackbird (Xanthocephalus xanthocephalus) standing in the grass next to a tree (20080420_04303)

A male yellow-headed blackbird (Xanthocephalus xanthocephalus).  An infrequent visitor to White Rock Lake, I immediately recognized it the moment I topped the hill at Winfrey Point.  Clouds had long obscured the world when a flash of gold wrapped in the deepest black turned my attention from the drab surroundings.  Far ahead of me down at the shore danced this marvelous creature.  Watching it flit from spot to spot, I ran headlong, nearly tumbling down the hill several times, and I snapped photo after photo along the way.  The bird vanished long before I approached its location.

A spotted sandpiper (Actitis macularia) in non-breeding plumage standing on a pier (IMG_20080106_00986)

A spotted sandpiper (Actitis macularia) in non-breeding plumage.  A marvelous aspect of the lake comes from how localized wildlife can be.  Looking for buffleheads?  You won’t find them in Sunset Bay.  Looking for American white pelicans?  You’ll find them mostly in Sunset Bay.  The whole lake seems apportioned by species with only a select group claiming the entire refuge.  So as I rounded the north shore and spied a pier overflowing with gulls and cormorants, this tiny bird dashing along the edge drew my attention more than the raucous giants who very much dwarfed it.

An eastern phoebe (Sayornis phoebe) perched on a bare branch (20080120_01484)

An eastern phoebe (Sayornis phoebe).  One thing I learned quickly when I started photographing wildlife is this: No matter what creature you hope to capture in an image, you have better luck if they don’t think you’re looking at them.  As large mammals with forward-facing eyes, we automatically come across as predators.  Other animals recognize that and know when those eyes have settled upon their location.  Pretending not to notice has often given me a better opportunity to take a picture or two than has stopping and looking directly at the subject.  So it was with this phoebe who dashed from tree to tree each time I stopped and took aim.  So instead of trying intently, I tried flippantly: Walking by and quickly pressing the button a time or two as I held the camera over my shoulder.

A great crested flycatcher (Myiarchus crinitus) perched on a fence wire (20080523_05733)

A great crested flycatcher (Myiarchus crinitus).  One disadvantage of visiting the family farm stems from the amount of territory it covers.  The house sits atop a hill with pastures and woodlands stretching in all directions.  While standing in the main yard helping my parents tend to the rabbits, a bit of movement far off in the distance caught my eye.  Something loud flew into view and perched atop a fence.  Without thinking, I turned, faced into the sun, zoomed in all the way despite knowing I was ill prepared for such an endeavor, and I pulled the trigger—photographically speaking.  Much to my surprise, I captured this rather poor image of a bird that rarely stands still.

(Honestly, without time to change lenses or get closer, I took four pictures, all the while telling myself I’d get nothing for the effort.  That even one of them showed the actual subject with any clarity brought a great deal of cheer to my heart!)

A juvenile Cooper’s hawk (Accipiter cooperii) perched in a tree (211_1135)

A juvenile Cooper’s hawk (Accipiter cooperii).  Lake Tawakoni impressed me beyond measure.  The giant spider web overwhelmed me with its vast reach and unexpected majesty, yet every direction I turned offered one more surprise…and one more challenge for my little PowerShot S50.  When this accipiter landed in a tree some distance from me, its tail resting comfortably on a branch behind it as the predator surveyed the morning landscape, I scarcely thought I would be able to see it in any of the photos I took.  Small and compact, the camera I had with me offered few answers to the challenges I put before it.  In this case, however, it at least let me know it tried.

An American goldfinch (Carduelis tristis) seen through brush and branches (IMG_20080105_00804)

This poor unidentified bird left me wanting (see update at bottom of post).  Never having seen its face, let alone a profile shot that might offer a bit more of its plumage for comparison, it landed only once in a small stream hidden by brush and branches.  Its song made me turn and look; the click of the camera made it disappear into the sunrise.

A female northern flicker (Colaptes auratus) clinging to the side of a tree as she looks to the side (IMG_20080106_00932)

A female northern flicker (Colaptes auratus).  The rat-tat-tat of pecking above my head called my attention to an otherwise silent visitor.  She clamored along the tree’s bark high in the treetop, and the faint echo of her efforts provided the only evidence of the encounter.  I backed away snapping photo after photo under less than ideal circumstances: the sun had not yet risen above the treeline; a great number of bare branches stood between me and her position; and her color made her all but invisible in such dim light and at such a great distance.  The only thing I could focus on was the spot of red on the back of her neck.

A male house finch (Carpodacus mexicanus) standing on a bit of tall grass (20080629_08622)

A male house finch (Carpodacus mexicanus).  I followed this chap from Garland Road to Sunset Bay (quite a distance for those unfamiliar with White Rock Lake).  He stayed well ahead of me, and each time I got close and tried to take a photo, he darted further ahead—but always stayed close enough that I could see him.  Native to this area, I never doubted his identity; I did, however, doubt that I would get a respectable image of him.  This is another case of pretending not to notice the very thing I wanted to photograph.  Only when I leisurely walked by as though he didn’t exist was I able to surreptitiously aim the camera at him and snap a few images.

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The purpose of this series has been manifold:

  1. To show that one need not have the greatest equipment available in order to capture a memory.  None of these photographs will be published, but each of them means a great deal to me.
  2. Every picture doesn’t have to be a work of art, let alone something worthy of inclusion in a nature guide (or other publication).  I’ve been published because of my photography, yet the image that started me down that path was taken with a weak and simple point-and-shoot camera, and it was an image taken only because I wanted to capture a beautiful thing that Mom pointed out to me.
  3. Photography is a personal endeavor.  What I show here has nothing whatsoever to do with wanting to share with the world.  It has everything to do with wanting to experience the world, and once in a while finding that effort resulted in a moment others might enjoy.
  4. I’ve long advocated that a camera at the ready is the most meaningful tool anyone can have, for it enables us to memorialize life as it happens.  A small red bird.  A waterfall casting a rainbow upon the day.  A simple confluence of stars and planets that won’t be seen again for a hundred years.  The list goes on.  Memories are personal and fleeting; photographs can be forever and immemorial.

[Update] I have since identified that bird as an American goldfinch (Carduelis tristis).

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