Airline passengers still don’t get it

Did someone miss the news about September 11, 2001?  Did someone not hear about new restrictions on what you can carry on to commercial airline flights now?  Did someone just pull their head out of the sand?

There are times when the words "ludicrous" or "stupid" or "dumb" simply don't convey a harsh enough representation of how cranially dense some people really are.  The recent report on items confiscated by TSA personnel from people trying to board commercial flights is a perfect example of when words just don't seem harsh enough.

In the 13 months since the Federal Government (via the TSA) took responsibility for security screening of airline passengers, more than 4.8 million restricted items have been confiscated.  Despite reminders and news reports and common sense telling us that potential weapons of any kind are now restricted and cannot be taken into the cabin of commercial airline flights, TSA authorities have confiscated all manner of ludicrous carry-on items.  Here are just a few examples.

Nearly 40,000 box cutters.  You heard me correctly — box cutters.  It's as if these idiots slept through September 11 and the more than 17 months of news covering it since then.

A machete.  OK, perhaps a pocket knife or a letter opener would not be so surprising, but there's no way you can convince me that someone didn't know you couldn't take a machete on the airplane.

A trailer hitch.  This one might be a little more difficult to berate, as one does not normally carry such items around on one's person and — as luck would have it — trailer hitches haven't been specifically covered in the list of items restricted from planes.  There's still that nagging question of common sense…

1,101 guns.  Simple solution to this one — shoot the idiot with their own gun.  It's difficult to believe anyone could be so stupid, but the numbers are too simple to get confused.

1.4 million knives.  Have these people been on another planet?

15,666 clubs.  I think those caught with such things should be beaten with their own clubs.  It's too late to hope you could knock some sense into them, but there is hope you might hinder their ability to procreate.

125,000 incendiary devices.  I suppose the restriction on taking such items is new…  No, you dolts.

A 15-piece cutlery set.  OK, I'll let this one slide — NOT!  Cutlery is cutlery is cutlery.  Did the understanding that a box cutter is cutlery (it cuts, right?) totally escape these people?

A kitchen sink pipe.  This is almost ludicrous.  What dimwitted moron thought that would be acceptable?

Horseshoes.  Undoubtedly someone from Texas.

A circular saw.  Have you ever heard of anything quite so insane?  Why don't I carry my nail gun with me as well?  You never know when you might have to perform emergency repair work on the plane itself.

Transportation Security Administration spokesman Brian Turmail made it clear when the report was released that further education was necessary to reduce the number of banned items that continue to be caught at security checkpoints.  Luckily he found the right balance when he continued by saying, "If you don't know by now that box cutters are inappropriate, no amount of public education is going to make a difference."

Out of all of this, 922 people were arrested for attempting to carry such items through security checkpoints and to their plane.

Arrested?  They should be shot.  If they have no common sense (the only possible shortcoming that could explain this level of stupidity), they should be removed from the gene pool so we don't pass that level of ignorance on to children and a whole new generation of boneheads.

Of course, there's not much humor in all of this when on considers the results of the TSA's test last spring which showed that screeners only found 70 percent of knives and missed one in four guns.  Given the numbers above, it makes you curious about what they didn't catch.

Still, I have to wonder WTF these people were thinking.  More importantly, WTF are their counterparts thinking out there right now as they try the very same things?

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