the wind blows as I sit here thinking of you
it's like watching the breath of life steal away from all that surrounds me
wisping away what was and leaving stark reality in its wake
the leaves blow, momentarily rustling around my feet before they continue their journey
moved along by the wind's hidden fingers
all seems right with the world as I behold the seasonal change
this place and this time seem perfect
yet inside me there is something wrong
I see your clear face in all of my dreams
it haunts me; you haunt me
at least that's how my memory seems to portray it
I watch the clouds darken as a storm approaches
it reminds me of…
well, it reminds me of you, of us, of what we had and how it changed
the flower beside me fades into nothingness, it's fleeting moment in the sun now gone
the trees, losing their foliage as they prepare to slumber through winter, join the flower
they journey methodically toward winter heeding the call for change
I watch autumn take control of the world around me and remove from it the beauty of summer
my heart calls out asking if it too should join this movement, this pilgrimage
you were the only one
you were my summer
you brought to me all the life that spring gives summer
now you take that life just as autumn takes it before winter
the rain begins to fall as the thunder in the distance rolls nearer still
the lightning flashes in the distance, yet not as distant as it was only moments ago
I stand and prepare to leave
forsaking this place and this time
forsaking the memories and the pain
there will be another spring, another summer
life will return to this place
I must remember to return then
for I shall again see the flower in all it's beauty
I shall again see the trees bathed in the glow of the sun as their leaves absorb its life-giving energy
I shall again see spring create life for summer
in that change I find hope
some other time, perhaps, I hope to myself
some other time I hope our paths will cross again
perhaps, when that time comes, it will be spring and not autumn
perhaps it will be life and not lifelessness
yet there is comfort here in this place as I turn to leave
there is comfort in the knowing
knowing that this is all so natural
a cycle of life to death to life again
my heart can learn from this
autumn can teach me
autumn can comfort me
autumn can show me that loss is only a part of the process
that spring, its eternal brother separated by time, will visit again
there is hope in this
hope that our paths may cross once again
just as I know autumn will visit me again one year hence

[circa 1989]