Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought — particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

— Woody Allen

Perhaps you’ve heard already.  Perhaps not.  In either case, this is a perfect example of how Homeland Security is making us safer.  Government investigators smuggled radioactive materials into the U.S. via two different entry points.

Two teams of government investigators using fake documents were able to enter the United States with enough radioactive sources to make two dirty bombs, according to a federal report made available Monday.

The investigators purchased a “small quantity” of radioactive materials from a commercial source, according to a Government Accountability Office report prepared for Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations Chairman Norm Coleman, a Minnesota Republican.

The investigators posed as employees of a fictitious company and brought the materials into the United States through checkpoints on the northern and southern borders, the report stated.

Now let’s review.  It was September 2001 when we were attacked and realized the assumed safety inside our own borders was nothing more than self-deception.  In response, the federal government executed a massive reorganization intended to make security a priority in its own cabinet-level post.  Almost five years later, our worst fear is realized: we are no safer than we were back then, and it’s easier than ever to bring weapons into the country.

I’m sorry, but what have I missed in all of this?  Shouldn’t one assume these many years later that sufficient time has elapsed and that failures on this scale indicate the level of ineptness within our government, ineptness that will cost civilian lives on scales heretofore unseen?

Have the courage to be ignorant of a great number of things, in order to avoid the calamity of being ignorant of everything.

— Sydney Smith

I’m neither a Democrat nor a Republican.  I prefer to vote for the best candidate for the job rather than a platform blindly followed by mindless idiots.  This makes me an enemy of both sides of any partisan debate, unwelcome at cocktail parties where politics might be discussed, a pariah of the misinformed and melodramatic, and generally abused as though I am somehow mentally damaged because I won’t pick a side.  I’m called indecisive and uninformed and inept, a fence-rider who cannot makeup his mind, and an abomination to and enemy of our democracy.

I believe in the constitutional freedoms we in America long have held dear, including the freedom of speech which includes the right to speak out against our government even in a time of war.  For that, I am called a traitor and an enemy of the state.  I am spied upon for speaking my mind.  I am abhorred and shunned for believing that freedom of speech is an absolute right that no one — not even a mindless president who wallows in disgusting joy at breaking the law when possible — no one should be able to trump me with their freedom from free speech: the wrongly assumed right to be protected from the opinions and expressions of others.  If it offends you, the law should not protect you.  Instead, it should protect my right to offend you — period.  That’s called free speech, and that’s what I believe in.  “Freedom of speech zones” are an affront to everything we hold as fundamental rights for all people.

I believe in privacy in all its forms.  The Fourth Amendment says everyone should “be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures” and that those rights should “not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.”  Regardless of justification, no one should have the right to violate those liberties and freedoms.  I am called a terrorist for not supporting the NSA’s domestic spying program which blatantly violates the spirit and text of that constitutional protection.

I believe my health care never should be considered the business of the government.  Despite Republican actions to the contrary, think of how you would feel if political machinations took control of your medical decisions and overrode your wishes when you’re no longer able to communicate them.  For this, I am considered anti-life and anti-health.

I believe in a woman’s right to control her body and decide as to its disposition (and men as well, although that tends not to be as critical a consideration).  This includes abortion.  Because I don’t think any government should control a woman’s uterus or what happens to it, I am considered an enemy of children and considered a threat to the welfare of families everywhere.

I’m gay.  Unless you’re dead, you can’t have missed that such a trait makes me an enemy of America, an enemy of marriage, an enemy of family, and otherwise just an enemy of all you might possibly deem sacred.  Without knowing it, I am for decadence and the destruction of values and against all that might be wholesome or worth protecting, part of a master agenda to convert children and to distort all that is natural.  It’s not a comfortable place to be, but I assure you that I’m not so weak as to cave at the first sign of bigotry, intolerance, hatred, and pure evil.  Seen it before, will see it again, not terribly worried (although saying I’m not worried at all would be dishonest).

I believe that we should protect the environment.  Failing to do so bears witness to the detriment of future generations.  For this simple and common sense approach to living, I am labeled anti-business and anti-progress, and I am regarded as facetious and dishonest.

I believe the law should bind our governments and their officials.  Being elected to public office does not suddenly negate that requirement.  Our own King George believes differently and I am labeled contrary and disagreeable for thinking otherwise, for believing that the law is the law and that it applies to everyone no matter what position of power they may hold.  I see constitutional checks and balances as an absolute for the proper function of our democracy, yet I am subjected to abuse for not supporting the dictatorial practices of the current administration.

I do not believe in torture, but I do believe in human rights.  America has forsaken both beliefs, and the mindless automatons of Christianity and conservatism find such a contrary thought to be baseless and disgusting.  I am ashamed of my own country because of this.  Lacking support of blatant violations of human rights and American values, I am considered supportive of terrorism and against peace.

I believe in transparency and honesty in government.  Having a president demonstrate his willingness and desire to go to war regardless of the facts is disturbing and wrong.  While telling Americans that a possible war would be in response to the threat of WMD in Iraq, Bush already admitted to Tony Blair and in writing that he intended to go to war regardless of the presence or absence of such weapons, and he even discussed manufacturing evidence and otherwise provoking a confrontation to justify war despite international and American law.  Because I find this offensive, I am labeled evil and contradictory to the will of the people.

I’m an atheist.  As such, I’m called amoral — if not immoral.  Recent studies indicate that not believing in a god — most especially the Christian god — makes me one of the most distrusted persons in the country.  That’s the bottom of the barrel, although being gay also gives me honorable mention only slightly higher than the very bottom of the list.  Even more disturbing is that any hope of being a parent for people like me is slim at best because courts often force non-believers to demonstrate some religiosity and support of faith before being deemed adequate material for child custody.  This offends our country’s founding fathers according to their own writing and thoughts.

Essentially, every fiber of my being is seen as a threat against the American way of life, and that is regardless of the fact that our freedoms and liberties guarantee such diversity is welcomed and celebrated in this country.  Because I cover so much territory on the “enemies of America” list, I must be the devil himself if currents of public thought are indicative at all.

I am disgusted by my own country, by those who claim to uphold American values while betraying them with such earnestness.  This is not the America in which my parents raised me.  Instead, this is the enemy that for so long we swore we would face with conviction and fight at all costs: the enemy of freedom and the murderer of diversity.  I am shamed to be labeled an American under such circumstances.  More importantly, I am ashamed that I am now considered the devil in a place where I would otherwise be called just another citizen.