Category Archives: Grendel

State of affairs

After what seemed like an eternity getting from diagnosis to surgery, my father went under the proverbial knife Thursday to remove the aggressive tumors invading his head from within his sinus cavities.  I believe we spent more than 14 hours at the hospital that day and felt at the end of it as though we hadn’t slept in weeks.

Stress, anxiety and lack of rest notwithstanding, however, the surgery went smoothly.  The tumors were not as large as the doctors originally feared, so it only took about two hours to remove the offending tissue.

Additional “unusual growths” were found and removed at the same time.  More testing will be done on those and the inverted papillomas to determine if he needs other follow-up treatments.

Meanwhile, he’s now home and feels much better than anticipated or expected.

Time will tell the ultimate outcome, mind you, but thus far we’re thrilled with the lack of problems, the overall prognosis and his quick recovery.

As for al-Zill, he’s had two introductions to the rest of The Kids.

Grendel has been less than welcoming.  As the alpha male of the clan, this comes as no surprise.  I’ll have to keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn’t do too much to damage al-Zill’s calm.

Kako has been…  Well, she’s been Kako.  Rude, way harsh, bitchy…  I like that she’s consistent.  Allow me to note one interesting moment: She walked right by him at one point without realizing who he was, probably assuming she was passing her brother instead of the intruder, and she casually went on with her business without ever looking at him, let alone hissing or growling or swinging or anything else.  I had to laugh about that.

Kazon demonstrated an ambivalent distance at first, a wee bit of hissing rigidity next, and finally topped it off with curiosity mixed with indifference.

Loki surprised me by letting al-Zill lie with him for a bit, a touch of mutual grooming included.  But then the devil showed his true colors with a sneaky bite and slap which sent al-Zill fleeing.  Typical.

Larenti seemed interested yet reserved, sniffing when the opportunity presented itself, offering a few playful swats here and there, and ultimately being the most welcoming tempered with reticence.

Vazra, as expected, showed true feline curiosity at first.  Once he realized no threat existed, he quickly became disinterested.  He’s his own cat, after all, and he really focuses on himself more than anything else.  He did take a few swings when al-Zill invaded his space, but these were nothing more than casual movements not intended to do harm.

As for al-Zill himself, it behooved him to be submissive and friendly, which is precisely what he did.  He offered rubs to every cat he encountered and gave plenty of space when the welcome was less than warm.  He cautiously roamed the entire house, sometimes with tail tucked and sometimes with it held proudly toward the sky.

A great deal of his time was spent investigating the windows and doors with a serious eye toward the patio.  Remember, that has been his safe spot and home for quite some time now.  It must have seemed eerily familiar yet alien to see it from this side of the glass.

He attempted escape once as I came back inside from the patio.  To be honest, it scared the hell out of me that he actually might succeed.  Recapturing him would present little problem, sure, but I’ve always feared for any of The Kids should they get outside.  al-Zill’s neurological problems make that concern sharper and clearer.

I salvaged the situation, however, and he remained in the house where he needs to be.  That ended his free roaming for now and he’s back in the bathroom where he can rest a bit and eat and drink without interference.  This respite also gives the other cats time to relax.

I’ll continue these outings for him over the next week, slowly increasing the time he spends freely outside the bathroom while monitoring for any unpleasantness between him and the other predators ruling the roost.  Unless something cataclysmic happens between now and then, I suspect he’ll be out and about permanently by next weekend.

As for me, I feel like I have a hangover from a week-long drinking binge.  Tired.  Sore.  Anxious.  Befuddled by a mental fog that won’t end.

Considering I was the only one of us children to attend and help with my father’s surgery, and considering I was the only one of four who has been there from the beginning to make sure we got through this successfully, I feel disappointed, heavily burdened, fatigued.

On top of that, capturing al-Zill last weekend and his following adoption and integration since then only added to the weight I carried.  Again I say Mom was right: Life has a way of piling up all at once.

I wish I could say the long weekend will help.  Regrettably, I go on call Monday.  The only rest I will get comes today and tomorrow.  The holiday is lost to me, as is the three-day weekend.

[note that I’ll begin work on al-Zill’s page in the next few days and will update the links in his posts while migrating those entries into the appropriate categories]

Do as the doctor ordered

Kako lying on the floor with sunshine flooding in from behind her (20080419_04137)

Kako abhorred enjoyed her annual visit with the vet today for her exam and vaccinations.  In truth, her unpleasantness was subdued compared to most visits.  Sometimes we should be grateful for what age can bring…

She did try several times to climb into the cabinets above the examination counter.  At home she enjoys the cupboards above the refrigerator, beneath the kitchen counters and below the bathroom sink, so this came as no surprise.  She was unfortunately denied this escape in the doctor’s office, and that meant she instead cuddled in my arms for shelter.  Oh darn!

Kazon sitting on the bed (20080426_04991)

Although her overall health and condition are good, she does have yeast infections in her ears.  That means medication for two weeks.

Given that both she and Kazon had terrible mite infestations in their ears when they were young, this comes as no surprise.  Neither of them can properly address ear cleanliness since both suffer from oversensitivity.

I need to do a better job with the Oticalm from now on to keep this from recurring.  Or so I hope…

Grendel lying on the floor with sunshine blanketing his back (20080419_04122)

While speaking with the doctor, she brought up Grendel.  You see, this is the same doctor who has spent a great deal of time helping him through his various health issues, from hip surgery to asthma to bladder and kidney stones to inflammatory bowel issues.

She mentioned, like Kazon, that Grendel can never again have vaccinations.  His intestinal disease is caused by an overzealous immune system.  Since vaccinations activate the immune system and heighten its sensitivity, giving him any vaccination would only aggravate the problem.

That means two of The Kids will forgo vaccinations.  So be it.

A close-up of al-Zill as he sleeps on the patio in the fading light of sunset (20080516_05305)

Finally, al-Zill is in the bathroom, captured earlier today and awaiting his chance to visit the doctor tomorrow before becoming the latest member of The Kids.  His reaction to being caught has been less than disruptive, more like reserved curiosity than uninhibited panic.  I find that a good sign.

Of him I know this: he needs tapeworm treatment, upper respiratory and rabies vaccinations, and flea and tick treatment (along with heartworm and other preventative medicines, the same as The Kids get on a monthly basis).  Once he returns from the vet tomorrow, I will begin the integration process just as I did with Vazra and Larenti.

Despite worries to the contrary, seven is not a terrible number, and it certainly doesn’t make me some bizarre feline fetishist who intends to grow a home full of cats until it becomes a health hazard.  I cannot rescue more, cannot fathom the weight of such an idea.

But I also know that, despite all those who have reminded me that we—I—can’t save every animal in need, I remain adamant with my response: “Why not try?”  Too many feel that self-imposed prerequisite burden is enough of a reason to abstain from attempt.  I feel no such limits.  Only my self-control and logical outlook tell me I can’t rescue more, can’t provide safe home and hearth for additional lives.

Nevertheless, he will no longer be an outside cat, no longer be a homeless vagabond living on my patio and, given his neurological damage and physical limitations, hoping to get through another day without suffering an unspeakable fate.

I sense it, Daddy

A close-up of Grendel as he lay in front of the patio doors with sunlight streaming in behind him (205_0534)

Change is on the wind, Grendel, and you do sense it, your predator skills attuned as variations and transformations develop around you.

A storm cries out in a sky full of tumultuous writhing, clouds parting briefly to reveal a sun pouring energy into an atmosphere defined by chaos.

A shift in life as we know it grows nearer, more powerful, ready to control our destiny in ways we cannot understand.

A move from known to unknown breeds concern for the familiar we will leave behind in search of the unfamiliar we seek.

A distress for that which we cannot control but which controls us becomes palpable, a heavy thing on the air that clings to each of us like a parasite.

I feel it too, Grendelkitty.  Ah, I feel it like a flame against the skin, a moth brushing my cheek with its wings, a terror and a joy wrapped together in one defining moment.

Let’s hope we have the strength we need to survive such frenzied times.

Eleven

How old?

How parched with time’s passage?

Eleven years.

So say Grendel and Loki.

Eleven years old.

Wise men, learned men, erudite men.

Men of wisdom and understanding.

Predators capable beyond their years.

Felines too knowing to acknowledge the primitive troglodytes of our species, the demanding catastrophes of wishful thinking who define the errant essence of humanity.

Knowing.  Comprehending.  Omniscient.

This is the company I keep, the definition of my being writ upon the brows of masters well beyond that which people know.

So happy birthday, Grendel and Loki!

Happy birthday indeed.

Teach me, you beasts, and let me sip from the cup of your mastery.

[I’m two days late; I deserve to pay the price of insolence]

Behold profound expressions of love

Grendel sitting on the floor and staring up at me

Silence knows not these eyes.  They
speak volumes
in every glance,
in each unblinking stare
punctuated with a tail’s twitch.

Your voice only
I know.
Understand.
Hear fully.

What desires fly in waning light
are incomprehensible to
all but the me of your life,
the I of our bond,
and
the we of this love.

Speak nothing and
still I know what you think.
Look yon and
still I feel your thoughts
as though
cut upon my flesh
with predator’s claws.

No other can know.
What?
Precisely.

[Grendel]