Category Archives: Larenti

‘Wow! You’re so gorgeous!’

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The words really came out of my mouth like that.  Well, it was more an exclaimed whisper than a shout.

For perhaps two or three weeks, I have increasingly seen a new cat in the neighborhood.  It’s a large feline, certainly bigger than Kazon in height and perhaps equal or thereabouts in length, and also as solid as Grendel were the in-house sponge on a proportionally larger frame.  Having glimpsed this sizable and furtive predator skulking usually at early hours or in small glances at the last minute, I’ve not had much chance to see it clearly.  I assumed it was perhaps tortoiseshell in color based on these inconsequential encounters.  It appeared to be healthy (certainly not thin by any stretch of the imagination, but not overly plump either).  It’s tall, perhaps taller than any of my cats.  That’s all I could come up with.  I simply hadn’t seen it clearly enough to know more.  Until today.

I stepped outside just a few minutes ago and froze.  Something large and dark moved before I noticed it, and then it froze and became nearly invisible in my peripheral vision.  It took me a moment to locate the cat in the speckled sunlight that now trickled into the area around my patio.  It took me longer than it should have just to realize it had been sitting there eating some of the food I’d put out earlier to augment what was left from breakfast for Vazra‘s lady friend Larenti (more on her in a forthcoming post).  Whatever large beast now lurked in the mostly shadowed world a short distance away yet beyond the fence’s horizon had absolute control of the situation with stealth that, even after being identified, continued making it difficult to see clearly with my sunglasses on.  So I took them off.

Without my shades, I was increasingly aware the creature had perfect camouflage for its current environment hidden behind bushes on one side, a latticework fence on the other, and a tree blocking most of the sun.  There it stood.  It was a large and exquisitely beautiful cat standing just a few paces from the pile of food sitting on the concrete lip at the edge of the patio.  That’s where Vazra’s friend has grown accustomed to eating, so that’s where the food always is.  I wondered at this new visitor as I calmly said things like “It’s okay” and “You go ahead and eat that” and other drivel.  In fact, I’d swear that cat shook its head for the briefest of moments as any condescending person would.  It said: “Uh-uh.  Don’t do that.  Don’t embarrass yourself.”  I did anyway.

And it worked.  The cat turned and carefully stepped back to the pile of kibble and, with one last serious look at me to ensure I’d not fooled it and was now on the attack, it knelt down completely and again enjoyed the healthy food.  I wasn’t sure exactly how feral it might be, so to help it I stepped in the opposite direction while more cooing gushed from my open lips.  Why were they flapping like this…  I promise I got another look that said I was the most retarded and simple-minded animal this predator had ever seen.  Afterward, it went back to eating.  I continued to stare.  I also got the message and squelched my infantile gibberish (although I did not completely silence it).  The cat went on eating.

The more I looked at it, the more I realized this cat was colored exactly like Kako.  She’s a black tabby with duotone hair that is dark at the tips and almost white over the majority just below that.  It’s like ferret hair.  With a cat as small as Kako, that makes seeing her tabby stripes rather difficult.  She has to be turned just right, stretched just so, light falling on her just like this, and so on.  Experience helps me see her stripes more easily now.  With this large cat munching away on prescription cat food, they were far more obvious because they were drawn on a much larger canvas.

“Wow!  You’re so gorgeous!”  The words were hoarse in my throat, a whisper turned guttural from too much force.  Like faked sickness.  After that, all I could do was stare at it.  In response, the kitty ate and ate.  When I decided to slip back inside so it could eat in peace, it watched me carefully while demonstrating a bit more comfort by not stoppin’ the scarfin’.  I was happy it was at least comfortable enough with me to let me approach that short distance so I could step back through the doors to the bedroom.

I have to get photos and hope I can capture the wonder of the thing.  Mighty fine animal, that one!  Yes sirree!  Yessiree!

We’ve had quite the productive morning

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It’s been a busy day already here at the homestead.  Laundry is going in both the washer and dryer, the dishwasher is going, Loki had his morning dose of asthma medicine, Vazra had his morning dose of antibiotics, all of The Kids had a treat, the bathroom has been cleaned and returned to its normal state following Vazra’s temporary incarceration there earlier in the week, food has been put outside for the birds and squirrels, preliminary work on Vazra’s “The Kids” page is complete, several site application updates are downloaded and prepared for installation, web server OS and application upgrades are downloaded and prepared for installation, I’ve had my morning coffee, the mail has been retrieved, bills and other financial paperwork are sitting next to the laptop ready to be addressed, more than 500 spam e-mail messages have been deleted, about 300 spam comments have been deleted, a bit more investigation into Vazra’s breed yielded more solid evidence he’s a Persian, each of The Kids has enjoyed a lot of lovin’ and play, the bed has been stripped and related items placed into the laundry queue, and Vazra’s lady friend Larenti had her breakfast.

So what else is on the list?  Finish the laundry (one load of darks, one load of towels, and the sheets), go to the pet store to get treats and litter, clean the cat boxes, vacuum, unload the dishwasher, vacuum the bed and heat the pillows (both to get rid of dust mites), dust, sweep the patio, put down a fresh barrier of Sevin dust to stop the ants who assume the patio is for them, brush The Kids, pay bills and do general finances, catch up on the news, pick up Loki’s new prescriptions from the pharmacy, do some posting (including some new photos of Vazra), finish the preliminary incarnation of Vazra’s “The Kids” page, do some writing (not for the site), read, eat and drink and be merry, and spend more time with The Kids.

Some of these items were to be done yesterday, but we lost power during a thunderstorm and had to postpone a lot of activities because it was out for several hours and not restored until evening.  We desperately needed the rain, so you’ll get no complaints about the power loss.

5 raccoons + 2 cats + 1 human = mayhem (part 4)

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After quickly setting the food bowl inside the door, a move to protect it as much as get it out of consideration, I turned my attention to the baby raccoon now quickly approaching Vazra‘s lady friend Larenti.  I hoped the noise of the opening and closing door would stop it in its headlong trot toward the feline.  It worked only for a moment, after which it turned and closed the gap.  I was only a few steps from their location, so I immediately moved toward them with much deliberateness, but also not too quiet an approach.  The cat leaped to her feet, hissed, and took one swipe at the juvenile.  While it didn’t make any noise, it certainly turned tail and ran back to where its mother and siblings were standing.

That’s when I heard Vazra hiss.  I turned quickly in his direction and saw the other adult raccoon about halfway down the inside of the fence.  Despite knowing I’d laugh about it in hindsight, I was then only concerned about the increasing mayhem.  They were no more than two feet (half a meter) apart.  In any confrontation between the two, I knew the cat would come out on the losing end.

I quickly moved to their location, grabbed Vazra, and set him behind me near the door.  At least I knew the raccoon would have to get through me first.  Now on the ground inside the patio with us, the smartass was again holding his head up and sniffing the air, but this time there was not much to smell except cat and human.  And this time, having no fence between us, my bulk was far more intimidating.  I waived my arms and swung the empty bowl at him (not intending to hit him, and certainly not close enough to do so, but meant as a warning and scare tactic) as I walked rapidly toward him speaking in a loud voice.  That got his attention.

With no food to get to and with this enormous lumbering ape coming at him like a wild animal, he scurried up the fence.  There he stopped and turned to look at me, his mouth open with the heavy breathing used to pick up scents.

“Ah, hell.”  I continued moving toward him and making noise, and he continued staring at me as though he knew I was not as much of a threat as I hoped to be.  Again, within less than an arm’s reach, we stood face to face as I began wondering if raccoons were known for leaping to attack threats or prey.  We were close enough that it was a concern.  His location on top of the fence placed him within one short leap of my face, not to mention my scantily clad body.

Even then I could feel a bit of trepidation, a hint of wobbling in my knees as the worry for my own safety appeared front and center.  This little rascal was really brave.  That alarmed me, so I took a somewhat gentle swing at him with the bowl.  It didn’t contact him and was not meant to, but it was close enough to hit him with a blast of air.  That scared him enough to force him into a rapid descent down the outside.  There he paused and sniffed and looked at me as though I’d offended him.  There was also a bit of mischief in his eyes, a perceptive look that said, “I know you still have food.  I know you’ve hidden it well.  I will find it.  And you’re not the boss of me, so stop telling me what to do.”

This is precisely why I don’t want the wildlife to know I feed them.  It’s one thing to stumble upon the food and forage for it as they normally would.  It’s something else entirely to know I’m giving it to them and to relate food to my presence, a move that, especially in the case of raccoons, often will give them a great deal more courage around me.  Even an exception like this situation can cause problems, and it had.  This bandit showed up lacking significant fear of humans.  Seeing me provide food just added to his comfort.

But I’m smarter and certainly have more weapons at my disposal, so putting the fear of Jason back into him shouldn’t be a big problem — if I could focus on that rather than trying to protect two cats and a bowl of food from half a dozen raccoons.

Still sitting quietly near the door behind me, Vazra had reached his limit with this nonsense and decided it was time to go.  He ran to and leaped atop the fence, a move that generates a good deal of noise as he uses his claws to grip the top while pushing from below.  Remember, that’s what scared Kako and Kazon.

With his simple escape plan already in motion, he accomplished in one move what I’d failed to accomplish the whole time: the raccoon panicked and bolted in response to the noise and sudden movement.

With no more threat, the Persian cat jumped down the other side of the fence and wandered a short distance away.  Spying him and likely aware the raccoon smells and noises were gone, his lady friend casually strolled back toward us.

“Phew…”  I was glad that was over.  I should have Vazra do the wildlife management from now on.

Later that morning, both cats returned for a more peaceful breakfast, and Vazra was able to soak up all the lovin’ he’d not gotten earlier due to the unscheduled interruption.

Since this experience, the same raccoon has been by several times, and it has even demonstrated an uncanny ability to show up precisely when Vazra arrives in the mornings.  That is when fresh food is offered.  While I’ve not had exactly this same kind of experience with the beast, I have had similar moments when it doesn’t much care that I’m there and is adamant about getting to whatever food is available — even if that’s the bowl of food Vazra and I are protecting on the patio.  But I learned my lesson, and I’ve been able to manage the critter more successfully through noisier and more threatening gyrations.

[Part 3]

5 raccoons + 2 cats + 1 human = mayhem (part 3)

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The beast walked around the corner to the far side of the patio, at least 20 feet (6 meters) away, and began sniffing through the fence again.  I barely had time to ask “What are you up to?” before he scaled the fence with ease and was on top of it prior to me intercepting him.  He wasn’t showing as much fear of me as I’d hoped.  Not only had he seen me feed them, but he also knew I had more food.

With the empty bowl I’d used to carry the pecans and almonds, I reached the end of the patio where he was already starting to climb down the inside of the fence.  My approach stopped him and he returned to his place atop the barrier, but he didn’t go down the other side.  Instead, he continued sniffing the air while watching me.  I was closer than arm’s length when it occurred to me he was going to be a problem.  I waved the empty bowl at him and sternly said things like “Get down” and “You’re not coming in here” and other senseless gibberish that really accomplished little in context.  It was the noise and tone I hoped he would react to, not to mention the plastic bowl waving around in his face.

He reacted all right.  He grabbed the bowl with one of his front paws.  It so took me by surprise that I let go for a brief moment, and that presented me with the spectacle of this large raccoon sitting atop the fence holding a small, empty plastic bowl in one of his front paws.  I laughed despite my own frustration.  This truly was a demented joining of Animal Farm and Oliver Twist.  It was a pitiful visual of this hungry monster presenting his food receptable and asking, “Please, sir, may I have some more?”

My split-second reverie aside, I reached for the bowl at the same moment he dropped it.  “Son of a bitch!”  It was nearly a yell as I caught it.  He rushed down the outside of the fence.  “Now stop it,” I said in a very harsh way, “This is not funny.”  Although it was just that, but in a bizarre way.

Yet he didn’t stop.  The little bastard walked back around to the other end of the patio as I followed him.  As he had done before, he investigated the bottom of the fence a bit, reached in a few times, stuck his face through a few times, and then began to climb.  Again, I waved the bowl at him while speaking sternly and trying to be as frightening as I could without waking the neighborhood.  Again, he ignored me until he got to the top of the fence, by which time I’d actually tapped the fence with the bowl where he was climbing in the hopes of the close hit giving him pause.  It did, but only momentarily.

He continued up and sat atop the fence.  He sniffed the air intently before starting to climb down on the inside.  I made plenty of noise and sudden movements to scare him.  Again he went back down the outside and turned to look at me as though I was such an inconvenience.

The mother and babies lost interest after no additional food was offered.  They probably also were quite disconcerted with all the noise and movement.  Finally, they turned and left the way they came as I continued my insane romp around the patio shadowing their overzealous friend.  One of the babies however, instead of following its mother, headed right toward Larenti.

Raccoons are extremely curious and I suspected the little one only wished to understand what that strange creature was, but I’d seen its mother fight off the other raccoon when it threatened them and worried the same could happen to the cat if it lashed out at the baby.  Hissing is one thing; physical violence is something else entirely, and the mother wasn’t tolerating it.

It was then I realized this battle was getting out of hand.  I couldn’t protect Vazra, myself, the other cat, and the bowl of food.  There was simply too much ground to cover.

[Part 2 | Part 4]

5 raccoons + 2 cats + 1 human = mayhem (part 2)

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I leaned over the fence and spoke warnings to the raccoons while waving a hand in the air from time to time so they would not approach.  Sadly, their hunger seemed to be overriding their fear and common sense.  All five of them kept edging closer and closer to Larenti and the tiny bit of food she had left, and now she was cornered against the fence with no way to escape without having to run right through the horde of marauders.

The string of expletives spewing from my mouth exceeded an R rating.  It was looking more and more like I’d have to jump the fence to keep the cat out of trouble, and that didn’t sound like fun since I was barefoot and wearing only a pair of shorts.  If any of the raccoons decided to push their luck, I’d be in trouble.

Therefore, I hastily grabbed more food from Vazra‘s dish and tossed it behind the raccoons.  The diversion was a success.  They all turned around and walked to the new supply, happily began eating, and didn’t notice the female cat’s hasty retreat around the other corner.

“Clever girl,” I said.  My smile turned into a frown when I saw she only moved a short distance away before lying down where she could watch the wildlife show.  Well, at least now she wasn’t cornered.  She was smart enough to get out of the way if they approached her.

While the two adults and two of the babies ate the food, the third baby found its way to the small pile the cat had been eating.  It was consumed rapidly.

Within a minute or so, all of the food was gone and the raccoons began foraging for more.  I had no intention of giving them additional cat food since it’s not really the best thing for them.  Besides, it was a diversionary tactic anyway, not a strategic one, and I didn’t want to keep feeding them while they could see me doing it.

To my dismay, however, the damage was already done.  The recently arrived adult raccoon obviously had taken note of my throwing food out.  He came directly to the fence where I was standing and sniffed madly.  He undoubtedly smelled the rest of the cat food in Vazra’s bowl.  He began reaching through the fence and sticking his face through it as well.  I could hear the repetitive sniffing and knew precisely what he was up to.  But he wasn’t getting that food.

I kept telling them it was over, time to go, no more food, and whatever other silliness I could think of, yet that didn’t stop his search.  The mother and babies could also smell the food but kept their distance — somewhat.  But the other adult…

Not willing to accept that no more food was forthcoming, and certainly well aware that I still had some, the critter began to scale the fence.  And I was standing right there.  That’s what I was afraid of, so I spoke louder and moved quickly to frighten it.  For a moment at least, the plan worked and the raccoon backed down the fence in a hurry.

I took a few steps to one side and picked up the cat food bowl, and then I stepped away from the fence and placed it next to the door.  In the meantime, realizing there was real jeopardy here, Vazra backed away from the fence and sat down quietly behind me.  In this case, I don’t mind being a human shield.  I also thought it was nice to see he trusted me enough to consider me protection.

While mother and babies foraged a bit while keeping an eye on me in case more food was to be offered, the other raccoon worked his way to and fro at the foot of the fence, constantly reaching in (and grabbing leaves and other small items to see if they were edible).  And then be began to climb again.

“No,” I said sternly as I moved forcefully toward the fence.  He again reversed course and got down as quickly as possible.  After a few minutes of roaming back and forth, he eventually turned and walked back the way he came.  I was relieved.

It was short-lived.

[Part 1 | Part 3]