A recent cognitive study involving monkeys and dolphins seems to indicate that higher mammals can actually think about thinking.  Long believed to be the purview of humans, the ability to be unsure is a higher brain function that is not wired in genetics.  The study is important in that, for the first time, scientific results exist that show some animals are capable of functioning outside of training and the inherent knowledge they have from genetics (such as survival instincts, fight-or-flight, and so on).  Although I've long believed that dolphins are far more intelligent that we realize and are presently able to understand, the study indicates that the cognitive ability to be unsure may not be solely a human trait.  Although there are skeptics of the study, I would recommend you make your own decision on what the results actually mean.  You can read a news article on the study here at MSNBC.com.

I don’t remember where this came from.  It’s something tucked in among the reams of paper I have from the last 3+ decades.  There are a few notes in the margin that shed a bit of light on it.

This is from when I was struggling most with who I was versus who I was trying to be.  During that extremely painful struggle, I met someone who turned out to be the most influential person in my life — both before and since that time.  Although it took me a few more years to truly come to terms with myself and realize it was time to stop fighting what I had absolutely no control over, I made tremendous progress because of this person.  Having gone through the same thing I was experiencing, I found his experience and friendship invaluable.  As fate would have it, though, our journey together was not to last forever.  He was diagnosed with HIV/AIDS and, because the disease was not even manageable at the time, died less than a year later as opportunistic infections ravaged his body.  His name was Roger.

you came to me in darker times
when days were one by one the same
crowds and white-hot pavement
deprivation held me hostage
and all my poetry though young
would sing of death and worlds of pain
and as I sang within my chains
I hoped for more
but nothing came
until I least desired it
and there it was
the unexpected turn
you
you were life to me
where once life had no hold
and suddenly the gray of dawn
took on your splendor
crimson, then gold
and on and on
I dreamed those fire-lit mornings
of a time when all unspoken things
could come to light
and you would know my soul
I then watched in awe
as night after night
your laughter filled the air
awash in love
the spotlight of my gaze
the laughter is over now
your light grown cold
as mine once was
and I would give my life
to bring you back from eternity’s front door
to strike a deal with spirits dark
your soul for mine
to see you live again
I cannot force the breath
from your soul
nor free your heart to fly
but there are friends
many of them
who wait and ask not why
they wait for what we know
is neither mine to take
nor mine to give
they wait for you to find the ground
beneath your feet
a life to live
and when it comes to pass
as I am sure that someday it will
I’ll give you back the nearest fraction
of the love
with which my cup you filled
so suffer long you might
and know that I am here
and I shall surely stay
to bid you welcome
take you home
give you heart to light your way
I come as a loving friend
to help you stand
to help you rise
I come to give to you
all you have given to me
I come to help
lift you to the skies

[I can’t claim this is my work; I’m not sure who wrote it, although it has many signs that it could have been something I wrote with heavy or cursory inspiration from another work; I just don’t know because all I have is a piece of paper with some personal thoughts of Roger scribbled in the margin; circa 1990]

Here's wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving.  Even if you don't celebrate Thanksgiving specifically, the spirit of the holiday is applicable to everyone.  I believe that each of us, regardless of our circumstances, can find something to be grateful for.

As promised, I think you can expect some gallery updates soon.  I've been playing with my new digital camera and have a significant collection of new pictures to filter through.  Of course, as is the case with all new toys, I'm still learning, so not all of the pictures I've taken are fit for consumption.  In addition to my own new pictures, I also got my hands on some older photos from years past (thank you, Mom!) and intend to get some additional pet photos posted as well.  I'll make every effort to get the gallery updated in the next few days.

Here’s the archive copy of the latest welcome message from the front page.

Welcome to my world!

My name is Jason, and this site is my experiment in self-expression.  I had no grandiose ideas when I started it and continue on in the spirit of ad hocism.

You can probably learn a little something about me from what I divulge via this site, and you’ll certainly learn something about my life.  It centers around my kids (the four cats who are very much in charge around here), my tattoos (those I have and those I intend to get), piercings (again those I have and those I intend to get), working out and trying to build a better body, my experiences, and exercising my free speech by discussing politics, local, national and world events, technology, science, national security, and a host of other things that I’m interested in.

Some of the things you’ll find here will entertain you while others will make you think — and others might very well piss you off.  That’s good, since I’m no conformist and take pride in what I know and what I believe.  I also tend to think my opinions are important even if others don’t agree with them.

So take a spin around the site, look through the topics and read a few things here and there, and feel free to let me know what you think.