I was standing in the grocery store recently when I noticed that one of the supermarket tabloids (probably The Sun) had a huge headline pronouncing that all the prophets and those "in the know" agreed that we had indeed crossed over to the last days.  Not a surprising headline on a tabloid since they've been saying this for a very long time (at least 20 years so far as I can remember, from childhood through today).  I laughed, of course, then moved on to make my purchase.  Surprisingly, a friend of mine sent me a joke the next day which immediately brought that headline back to mind.  When the end of the world arrives, how will the media report it?

USA Today — WE'RE DEAD

The Wall Street Journal — DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS

National Enquirer — SHEEP MISSING ALL OVER WORLD

Microsoft Systems Journal — APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE

Sports Illustrated — GAME OVER

Wired — THE LAST NEW THING

Rolling Stone — THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR

Readers Digest — BYE

Discover Magazine — HOW WILL THE EXTINCTION OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT AFFECT THE WAY WE VIEW THE COSMOS?

TV Guide — DEATH AND DAMNATION: NIELSON RATINGS SOAR!

Lady's Home Journal — LOSE 10 LBS. BY JUDGMENT DAY WITH OUR NEW "ARMAGEDDON" DIET!

America Online — SYSTEM TEMPORARILY DOWN.  TRY CALLING BACK IN 100 YEARS

Inc. magazine — TEN WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE

Microsoft's Web Site — IF YOU DIDN'T EXPERIENCE THE RAPTURE, DOWNLOAD SOFTWARE PATCH RAPT777.EXE.

IBM — ARMAGEDDON TOLERANT SOFTWARE NOW AVAILABLE!

N.Y. Post — WHAASSSUP ?

Boston Globe. — STRONG N.E. WINDS PREDICTED

Cuba Libre — BUSH BLOWS UP WORLD

Arizona Republic. — TEMPERATURES EXPECTED TO HIT 1016° F TODAY

when I saw him standing there I did not see his person
a man of intelligence, open-mindedness, and a fine portrayal of humanity
rather, I saw perfection
that sunshine could gleam so beautifully from one man's eyes
that peace could flow so readily through one man's words
that nature itself is left in awe of one man's presence
I was unaware of such things
he can speak volumes with just a few syllables
others seek him out for his breadth of knowledge
emotionally he is a lake in the calm of the day
reflecting the joy of nature around him
sparkling everywhere
silently he speaks the words we all long to hear
words which flow like a river over the rocks of my soul
putting smoothness where only rough edges have existed
with the knowledge of life and the universe itself
he is humble
readily he shares his joy
never for self gain
always for the sake of giving itself
nothing more
speaking with confidence that which no one dare reveal
an advocate for humanity
a part of life
encompassing life itself
individual
yet omnipresent
he dispels with dignity that which others despair with fear
he magnifies the good
and is blind to the evil
yet aware of it in its fullness
like leaves words fall at his feet
and nature itself bows down to him
majestically he dispenses kindness, unaware of his doing so
while restless winds go wandering and dunes undulate and dance
eternity worships him
life itself is incarnate here
the lightning of his soul pierces me to my heart
and in his eyes is the window to his soul wherein I stay the while
even the most lowly among us can take refuge in his heart

[circa 1991]

I realize I've not been around much at all lately except for a posting here or there.  I'm hoping I can get back to posting more regularly now.  It's not that things in life have changed so dramatically that I suddenly have lots of spare time, but instead I am just trying to get back to things like this which I enjoy and which help me unwind.  I've just had a lot going on in my life lately, none of which I intend to write about just yet.  Suffice it to say that, both professionally and personally, I've been quite overwhelmed of late and have had little time to do more than survive from day to day.  Things haven't calmed down, but perhaps I've reached a point where, outside of what's absolutely essential, I realize that I have to take time for myself before I go crazy.  That having been said, I'll be trying to get back to the normal routine of posting regularly.

Although few have really given it much thought, the human mind is a slow and rather simple processing system.  For instance, human minds process information so slowly that they cannot see that a television picture is really not a picture at all but instead is a series of lines shot onto the screen (standard tube televisions, that is).  Because our minds process the input so slowly, we aren't able to ascertain that the image is nothing more than lines scanning on the screen from top to bottom over and over again.  Instead, our minds process the entire series of lines as a single image, hence we see a picture.  Cats, on the other hand, who are designed to process information quickly in order to hunt and catch small darting prey do not see a whole picture but instead see the actual lines being drawn on the screen (so, those of you with cats who watch television should know they're actually slower mentally than their non-television watching counterparts).  Well, all of that to share this little piece of humor that someone at work sent to me.  You'll understand the comparison when you read it.

 

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae.  The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm.  Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Fcuknig amzanig huh?

It's September 11, 2003 — two years after the terrorist attacks on America.  I'm not going to delve into some emotional remembrance of the event since the whole thing still hits very close to home for me.  I was just talking to a friend about how I clearly remember everything that happened that morning and where I was and what I felt — all as if it was this morning.  For everyone touched by the September 11 attacks, whether you're an American or not, I hope you have a quiet and uneventful day with a few moments of free time to reflect on the events of that dreadful day.