I know a lot of people who need one of these

Now you can get your own Paranormal Restraining Order to fend off those pesky gods, demons, aliens, and even death.  How do you know if you should get one (and I can’t think of a single religious person who should go without)?  Well, any abusive relationship with a paranormal entity certainly needs one.

It is important to remember that abuse in relationships often starts out fairly mild and then escalates over time. Even if the abuse does not escalate, it is important to remember that no one has the right to abuse you in any way. If you find yourself in a situation where such behaviors are occurring, this may be a warning signal to you that the entity is, or may become, dangerous to you.

Signs that you may be in a relationship with an abusive paranormal entity are:

  • * You frequently worry about how they will react to things you say or do
  • * Your family and friends have warned you about them, or told you that they are concerned for your safety or emotional well being
  • * You leave and then return to them repeatedly, against the advice of your friends, family, and loved ones
  • * You have trouble ending the relationship, even though you know inside it’s the right thing to do

You may need protection from an abusive paranormal entity if they:

  • * Are jealous or possessive toward you (a primary symptom of abusive relationships)
  • * Try to control you, often by being very bossy or demanding
  • * Try to isolate you by demanding you cut off social contacts and friendships
  • * Pressure you sexually, or demand sexual activities you are not comfortable with
  • * Have a history of bad relationships
  • * Are violent and/or lose their temper quickly
  • * Shame, humiliate, or embarrass you, either privately or around family and friends
  • * Claim that you are responsible for their emotional state (a criteria for co-dependency)
  • * Blame you when they mistreat you
  • * Abuse drugs or alcohol

Don’t wait.  Hurry and get yours today!

[via Orac]

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