Making it matter

I’m on call this week.  Yes, that’s quite soon following my last stint in this hellish place, my last encounter with this unrelenting burden.  Believe me, no one appreciates that curse more than I.

Keep that in mind should posting seem a bit thin.

But also consider something else.

I’ve said time and again that I need to cut back on blogging so I can focus on more important things, such as The Kids, family and friends, my novels, my quest to relocate, enjoying nature, and photography, not to mention a hundred other things.

Well, the time has come.

Throughout this week I shall endeavor to thin the heard of blogs I read.  That by no means casts a negative light on those who fall by the wayside, but it does mean they simply didn’t stand the test of community and consequence which must now be applied to my commitments.  In truth, those I let go of simply don’t weigh as much as those I keep.

And doing so will lighten my load significantly.

The next several days will also provide ample time for me to evaluate and solidify a rigid approach to my own blog.  Because I must have time to complete Dreamdarkers so I can move on to End of the Warm Season, Centralia, The Breaking of Worlds, and the growing remainder of my novelist endeavors, and because I dare not give up my offline journaling given its lifelong cathartic liberation, blogging must suffer a digital RIF if I have any hope of succeeding in my search for writing success.

None of that compares to the newfound burden I carry with integrating Larenti with the rest of The Kids.  Each of them will require more of my time and affection to make the growing pain less severe.  Each of them deserves my unmitigated love and attention if I am to provide them all they deserve, a life full of compassion and safety, a peaceful home, the devotion of a father who wishes to provide them with an existence that is rich, full, rare.  If we believe ourselves worthy of such things, why then should I not consider them worthy?  For they are.

I can’t tell you now what the future will hold.  While I do have a firm grip on many of the changes I intend to make, I don’t want to blather ad nauseam about them until I can offer a sound, definitive plan.  Expect that in short order.

Ultimately, however, the goal is simple: Make it matter.

Make life matter.

Make goals matter.

Make blogging matter.

Make it all matter.

Stay tuned for updates.  I promise no extreme changes that will alienate anyone who reads my mental discharge on a regular basis.  I do promise to lighten the load, both yours and mine, and to focus on what I see as the most important pieces of this experiment.

[you can thank Theriomorph for helping me feel the power necessary to finally do what needed to be done; I strongly suggest you read that post from her; it’s a “Dear John” letter, yes, and one I should have written long ago; kudos to her for having the strength to face withdrawal so publicly and valiantly; I only hope I can follow her lead]

2 thoughts on “Making it matter”

  1. I understand, Jason. Am considering doing the same thing myself (again). There are so many things to read and see but… Anyway, no matter what, I’ll be checking in here to see what’s up with the kids. As you say, they are the more important. (Sorry to hear that Larenti is going through withdrawals from being able to go outside.)

  2. I think most of Larenti’s acclamation problem is the sudden change from outside to inside. Well, that and being in a house full of cats, only one of whom he knows. Nothing unexpected, of course, and nothing that will be an issue. It takes time.

    You know, Randy, Chris Clarke said it best: “Wanting to close or at least rethink a blog is turning into a fine old internets tradition, and I utterly empathise.” That’s where I am now.

    Yet Theriomorph hit the nail on the head when she said this: “It’s too easy to get sucked in by the scintillating and wonderful but finally unsustaining virtual world and neglect the things I should be doing in the physical one.” Alas, that’s also where I am now.

    I’m still contemplating how I’ll address this. I don’t have all the answers at this moment, but I do know I won’t be forsaking this venue entirely. For that matter, I’m sure I’ll be posting more than once a week. How much more? Good question.

    I love blogging. I love the people I meet via blogging, whether here or elsewhere. It’s just that priorities need to matter, at least the really important ones.

    Blogging helps me address several of mine, from writing to photography to communicating with friends & family to being a part of a community with shared ideals, hopes, interests, dreams, not to mention being exposed to a vast landscape of different ideas, something I thrive on, if not desperately need. Nevertheless, I have other work to tend to.

    I doubt you’ll be disappointed with how it all works out. Besides, what time I gain by focusing on other endeavors will undoubtedly help others gain some time by not having to filter through so much stuff from me. Everyone wins.

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