Category Archives: Loki

If we can’t have that, we’ll take this instead

I was sitting on the love seat having a bite of dinner while local news anchors prattled endlessly in the background about mostly inconsequential nonsense.  Vazra was busy doing… uh… well… he was busy running around as though his tail was on fire.  He gets in these moods, you see.  It’s all rather odd with his flipping out and chasing his own tail and spinning in circles and running hither and yon and generally being insane.  So, anyway, that’s what he was doing.

As I’m learning to understand what he’s talking about when he talks—and he talks a lot—I’m slowly beginning to hear what he means from time to time.  And so I sat shoveling sustenance into my pie hole when he came to a screeching halt near the fireplace, leaped into the box that sits there (it’s the old laptop box I kept for them), and began talking in what sounded like the same voice and manner he uses when talking to things outside—except he wasn’t looking outside.  He was leaning over the edge of the box and talking to the floor in front of the fireplace.

I set my dinner aside, stood, and walked to his location.  I gave a cursory glance around the box and couldn’t really see anything of interest other than the floor, and since that’s what I expected to see, I assumed he was demonstrating more insanity and took a step back for a slightly different view.  When I moved my right foot, which had been right beside the box, I finally could see something.  It was rather small and hard to see because it was nearly the same color as the floor.  I reached over, turned on the light, and was quite surprised to find a tiny little Mediterranean gecko (a.k.a. house gecko; Hemidactylus turcicus) cowering near the box.  Uh-oh.

It was the same size as the one I found outside.  The only way I knew it was a different animal was because its tail didn’t have the scar and regeneration mark from where it has lost and re-grown the appendage.

With my foot out of the way, Vazra’s talking went up in volume because he was able to refocus on the critter.  He’d found a new toy.  Rather than leave it to the horrible fate I knew it would suffer in the house (as is the case with anything smaller than a large dog), I tried to catch it so I could take it back outside.

Let me be clear on this: these little racers are fast.  Being as small as it was, it also had a tremendous gift for disappearing into tiny spaces.  That’s actually how it ended up under my shoe, I believe, because I hadn’t stepped on it.  Instead, it was hiding right under the toe.  I’m glad I hadn’t leaned forward.

So I knelt on the ground and gave chase.  Talk about entertaining.  Trying to pick it up was hard because of its size and my desire not to crush it.  I also didn’t want to rip off its tail and was being very mindful of that little trick.  But think about it: Daddy’s kneeling on the floor making all sorts of noise and moving everything out of his way while Vazra excitedly talks and talks and talks.  If you were a cat, could you resist?  Of course not!  Needless to say, it only took a minute for the other four felines to join in the chase.  Things were not working out quite the way I had hoped.

There I am trying to keep the lizard from scurrying into spaces where I couldn’t reach it (under furniture, into the fireplace, or even under the carpet where it meets the tile floor), and I have five cats trying desperately to help me catch this fun little self-powered toy that’s scampering about wildly.  As you can no doubt imagine, the whole scene was one of absolute mayhem.

I was, however, able to get my hands around it in a sort of bubble.  I couldn’t pry my hands apart for fear it would dash out through the space and once again lead us all in a game of hide and seek.  That had happened several times already.  Additionally, I wasn’t in a position to grab anything that would help me scoop it off the floor without possibly crushing it between my fingers or ripping its tail off.  How ludicrous I must have looked nearly doubled over in a fetal position trying to peek between my own fingers to determine how best to grab the little thing.  In the meantime, five very excited predators had encircled me and were talking with much enthusiasm (most of which were demands for me to release the toy immediately!).

In a moment of pure luck, I was able to maneuver myself so that a wee bit of light shined between my cupped hands.  I could see it clinging precariously to one of my fingers, so I scooped my hands together and flipped them over to put it safely in my palm.  I could then feel it moving about and knew I finally had it.

None of The Kids had intentions of letting it get away that easily.  It was like a pack of rabid children begging for candy they know you have.  While I made my way to the patio door, all five of them circled my feet (with not a few attempts to trip me, I might add).  They were all bellowing and chattering and more than interested in seeing that creature put right back where I’d found it.

Luckily, I finally got outside and was able to let it go on its way.  Perhaps it didn’t realize the inherent danger of entering the abode where hunters abound and find great joy in chasing down and dispatching invaders.  Perhaps it was on me somewhere and I carried it inside.  Perhaps it was on the door when I went out or came in at some point and fell to the floor.  Who knows.  All I know is I gently but sternly warned it such a move was unwise and should not be attempted in the future.  After listening intently, it dashed off into the darkness and I went back inside—where I found my dinner had become cheap compensation for the toy I’d so rudely confiscated.

Ah, what a fine evening.

Could I make it more complicated?

Both Grendel and Loki have to take inhaled steroids for their asthma.  Loki takes it twice each day and Grendel takes it once every other day.  Unlike Grendel’s systemic steroids where I can see how many are left in the bottle and know when I’m running low and need to get a refill, the inhaler has 120 doses but no way to tell how many have been used or how many are left.  That means I have to track it so I know when it’s running out and a refill is needed.

Instead of doing the simple thing and figuring out that 120 doses would last 48 days, and given that I could schedule a reminder every 48 days to get a refill and to swap the inhaler, I created a spreadsheet—a spreadsheet!—where I was tracking each dose used.

I can be so stupid sometimes.  A spreadsheet is an awfully unwieldy way to track something that predictable.  Yet for the last few weeks I’ve religiously popped that spreadsheet open twice per day to update it.  What was I smoking?  Or what should I have been smoking?

In either case, this morning I had an epiphany.  Well, it was more like a V8 moment.  All I know is I smacked myself in the head while watching Excel take forever to load (and on a fast laptop too, which tells you what kind of bloatware it is).  I immediately did the math for the schedule based on how many doses were already used, and now I’ll get a reminder 10 days before it runs out and will know precisely when to buy a refill and when to swap the canister.

Duh!

That was very uncool

In a battle of wills between Satan and The Bitch, who do you think comes out the loser?  I do!  How’d that happen?  Well, let me tell you.

Allow me to begin with a statement of the obvious: there is absolutely no love lost between these two cats.  I’ve always believed Kako hates Loki because she thinks he’s prettier than she is.  Loki, on the other hand, doesn’t help the situation by being so mischievous and devious and downright evil.  So back to my tale…

Kako was comfortably resting on the center platform of the cat castle.  Loki was sitting on my desk grabbing a drink of ice water from my glass.  When he finished, he wanted to make his way to one of the top platforms on the castle where he could rest (all of them love those spaces since they’re about six feet [two meters] high and generally isolated, something cats love).  He sat at the edge of the desk looking at the platform he wanted and glancing uneasily at Kako.  She was in the way.  He’s no fool and knew she wouldn’t let him pass without a fight.

In fact, as he readied himself to make a run for the spot he wanted, she sat up and began giving him the what-for he obviously deserved for even thinking he should consider such a move.  It was the angry growl and howl of a cat ready for a fight and willing to defend a position regardless of cost.  I sat in my chair and watched and listened.  While I wouldn’t normally intervene so long as it didn’t get ugly, I was ready to step in the middle of it if necessary.

Anyway, Loki judges the distance correctly and leaps.  He easily crosses the expanse between desk and castle with the agility I’ve come to appreciate in him.  He’d put almost all other cats to shame in that regard, and this maneuver proved it.  He went right over her head and landed on the top platform with ease.  It was a sizable jump both up and across.

She watched him fly overhead and immediately reacted.  Before he could even lie down, she started swinging and hissing and generally being herself: very unpleasant.  I’m laughing but trying to watch them so I can be certain it doesn’t go overboard (Loki doesn’t need excessive excitement even if he doesn’t realize it).  She swings; he takes the bait because he’s faster, stronger, and on higher ground.  He flops over on his side and makes himself comfortable while he rotates his entire body so that he can swing at her over the edge.  In the meantime, she’s making such a fuss that you’d have thought she was being beaten.  Typical.  But his position was superior.  The platform was between them, so only his paw had to be exposed in order to hit her where she stood below.

I watch them do this silly little thing where she’s just really pissed off and wants to make a point even though there’s no chance she’ll score in this battle.  He, on the other hand, is rather enjoying his many advantages and casually swings at her from time to time in response if she gets too close.  Her anger builds and I can tell she’s not going to let it go, and even as I stand to intervene, she stands on her hind legs to try for a better strike.  She perhaps lands one or two blows to his five or six.  It only serves to increase her rage.

By the time I step around the desk and over to the castle, I’m laughing so hard I can barely see.  I already knew she wasn’t going to win this fight.  I also knew Loki would just keep pushing her buttons and pissing her off more and more.  He likes doing that, if I’ve not already made that clear.  Devious little bastard…

I stand next to both of them and tell them to stop it, and I focus especially on her and make it clear she started it and needs to stop.  Meanwhile, Loki leans over the edge of the parapet he’s on and takes a casual swing at her as though making the point that she’s in trouble and he’s defending himself and the fight ends with him winning anyway, as though that was ever in doubt.  I turn toward him and tell him it’s not appreciated that he’s trying to goad her into more violence so she gets in trouble and he gets to kick her ass.

How does she respond?  She really goes after him.  It’s all swinging and ugliness and hissing and howling and general mayhem.  While trying to control my laughter, I fuss at her sternly and eventually try to stop her from making matters worse.  And what do you suppose she does?  She hits me.  Several times.  With claws.

I burst into uproarious laughter while I swat at her paw to make clear that’s not acceptable.  In response, she leaves a nice racing stripe on my hand before turning her attention back to the devil in black and white.  I respond with the only thing I can do; I grab her and pull her off the castle.

No, she wasn’t happy about it, but it stopped the fight and kept me from sustaining more wounds.  As I tell her she needs to be nicer (and as I internally wonder why I waste my breath), I place her atop the opposite platform across from him.  She immediately lies down and makes herself comfortable.  She throws a few minor hisses and insults at him to get the final word, but he knows he’s won.  He won’t stoop to her level.

And there they both stayed.  They eventually fell asleep without further nastiness, and I went to the bathroom to tend my wound.

And things were going so well

Loki and Kazon are buddies (I call the two of them together The Buds).  They hang out, they play, they explore, and they generally act like best of friends.  Of course, Kazon gets along with everyone because he’s just a kid.  But these two have always been close.

I was sitting at my desk one day and they both stopped by.  After a drink of water from my glass, they sat next to me quietly.  Loki began grooming Kazon, licking his ear and head and generally being very sweet.  Don’t be fooled.  Loki is not a sweet cat.  He’s devious.  He can be sweet, don’t get me wrong, yet more often than not, he’s up to something or will pull something to shatter your notion of him being pleasant.  This is just such a moment.

Watch him gently grooming Kazon while Kazon is suspicious of the whole thing—still enjoying it, of course, but suspicious nonetheless.  He was right to be.  Near the end, Loki proves exactly why he can’t be trusted.  Chomp!

[yes, the WMV file sucks as usual; both the audio and video are washed out, and that’s the “high quality” setting from MS; crap!; the MOV file is smaller and still is of a much higher quality; oh, and I think it’s extremely hysterical Stephen King’s Storm of the Century is playing in the background]