Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

— Douglas Adams

The wildlife around here has trained me pretty well.  Each night before going to bed, I of course make the rounds outside leaving food for the many visitors that come through these parts after dark.  Depending on who I’m feeding and where they’re dining, I leave things like fruits (e.g. apples, cantaloupe, blueberries, persimmons, pineapple, and grapes), nuts (e.g. almonds, pecans, walnuts, and peanuts in the shell), vegetables (e.g. corn, green beans, tomatoes, and asparagus), seeds (e.g. sunflower seeds and pistachio kernels), cooked meat (e.g. chicken and fish), and miscellaneous items (e.g. whole grain bread, natural cheeses, and limited and infrequent cat food).  There are even times when I’ll leave them something interesting like a cookie (Strawberry Newtons are a special favorite of the opossums; interestingly enough, most of the raccoons don’t like those).

Last night was no different.  I left goodies in various places.  For the raccoons, a cache of items left inside the fence on the patio, the menu consisted of plain almonds, diced apple, sweet corn, plain peanuts, and whole wheat toast broken up into chunks.  You just wish your life was this good, huh?

All ready to climb into bed around 11 PM, I heard a bit of commotion outside and immediately recognized it as the raccoons scaling the fence.  They’re quite accustomed to me moving around inside while they’re eating outside, so they don’t mind what I’m doing — although they will stop and take notice of me when I get close to the glass, a brief pause to ensure I’m not invading their space.  I made my way to the living room patio doors and sat down quietly to watch them.  Only two arrived, but that was just fine with me and certainly more than enough entertainment for The Kids who have learned that Daddy puts on a great show with whatever he’s doing outside (they get a lot of free wildlife interaction now).

I sat quietly as the raccoons began eating the food put out for them.  The most fascinating thing about watching them eat is how they use their front paws like hands.  They feel for food items and pick them up to eat them, or at least that’s what they do most of the time; usually when they’re alone, I’ve occasionally seen them eat directly off the ground without picking it up first.  As these two ate their meal, there were a few scuffles as they pushed each other away from the pile.  That was when I saw them do something I’d never seen raccoons do before.

When the larger one yelled and pushed at the smaller one, the little raccoon turned around and pushed across the pile of food with his ass end.  I laughed at it as a bizarre attempt to get some food.  It was only after they both did it several times to get to some of the meal while the other one was eating that I realized it must be normal behavior for them.  Considering how mean raccoons are (many predators won’t even attack them given how violent they can be), what I was watching with the “kiss my ass” approach to dining was the safest way to get some food without risking a face in the process.  They would simply turn around and back up across the food while pushing the other one out of the way.

It was quite humorous, I’ll admit.  I’ve never seen that before.  Perhaps they don’t pose as much of a threat that way since they certainly were less violent when pushing each other around with their asses.  I suppose they aren’t seen as competition for the food or a challenge when approaching in this manner, and I certainly know they are at less of a risk in that position.  I’ll look it up later to see what the theories are for this particular trick, but no explanation will diminish the entertainment value in watching them back around the patio just to get some food.  It’s quite entertaining; well, it was for me anyway.

The power of the Executive to cast a man into prison without formulating any charge known to the law, and particularly to deny him the judgment of his peers, is in the highest degree odious and is the foundation of all totalitarian government whether Nazi or Communist.

— Winston Churchill

Now you can get your own Paranormal Restraining Order to fend off those pesky gods, demons, aliens, and even death.  How do you know if you should get one (and I can’t think of a single religious person who should go without)?  Well, any abusive relationship with a paranormal entity certainly needs one.

It is important to remember that abuse in relationships often starts out fairly mild and then escalates over time. Even if the abuse does not escalate, it is important to remember that no one has the right to abuse you in any way. If you find yourself in a situation where such behaviors are occurring, this may be a warning signal to you that the entity is, or may become, dangerous to you.

Signs that you may be in a relationship with an abusive paranormal entity are:

• * You frequently worry about how they will react to things you say or do
• * Your family and friends have warned you about them, or told you that they are concerned for your safety or emotional well being
• * You leave and then return to them repeatedly, against the advice of your friends, family, and loved ones
• * You have trouble ending the relationship, even though you know inside it’s the right thing to do

You may need protection from an abusive paranormal entity if they:

• * Are jealous or possessive toward you (a primary symptom of abusive relationships)
• * Try to control you, often by being very bossy or demanding
• * Try to isolate you by demanding you cut off social contacts and friendships
• * Pressure you sexually, or demand sexual activities you are not comfortable with
• * Have a history of bad relationships
• * Are violent and/or lose their temper quickly
• * Shame, humiliate, or embarrass you, either privately or around family and friends
• * Claim that you are responsible for their emotional state (a criteria for co-dependency)
• * Blame you when they mistreat you
• * Abuse drugs or alcohol

Don’t wait.  Hurry and get yours today!

[via Orac]

Be sure to check out Carnival of the Cats #114.  You can find a lot of great feline photos in these carnivals, not to mention poignant, hysterical, intriguing, or otherwise memorable tales.

The feline laws of physics.  These are really funny — and disturbingly true.

Carnival of the Godless #41 covers a lot of territory for the heathens among us.

I’ve recently discovered the Carnival of Socialism and found it to be rather diverse and engaging.

Check out this photo of Alaska’s newly erupted Cleveland Volcano taken by an astronaut aboard the International Space Station.  Wow!

More free speech and right to assemble tossed out by Bush.  While I deplore the idea of protesting at a military funeral, I would gladly die to protect the right of Americans to do just that.  What we see here is more curtailing of liberty and constitutional freedoms.  You see, chip away at it little by little and eventually we’ll be left with no rights whatsoever.

Yet more scientific evidence that sexual desire is genetic, and this time they’ve identified at least one piece of DNA that’s directly and provably involved: “the D4 receptor gene — which is responsible for producing the dopamine receptor protein (DRD4).”  This latest study is yet more undeniable evidence that much of our sexual disposition is not learned as has been claimed by the mindless for ever so long; instead, mounting evidence clearly shows our DNA is pivotal in determining a great deal of human sexuality.

From Atrios: “The willingness to send others off to die for a misguided war because you wet your pants after 9/11 is called ‘cowardice’ not courage.”

Bill Frist in his Faux News interview made clear “unelected activist judges are tearing down state laws” around the country.  Let us clarify for the sake of argument precisely what kind of justices sit on the SCOTUS bench: unelected judges.

Given that, does Frist think the same of the SCOTUS when considering they overturned anti-miscegenation laws?  And what about when they invalidated racial segregation in schools and paved the way for ending de jure segregation in all other areas?  And when they advanced the doctrine of implied powers, or a loose construction of the Constitution, by granting Congress more authority than is explicitly stated?  And when the court guaranteed a defendant’s right to legal counsel even if it came at a cost to the states or the government?  And what of the time when the SCOTUS announced debate on public issues would be negatively impacted if public officials could sue the press for inaccuracies that were made by mistake, a decision which strengthened the media’s First Amendment protections?  And when they ensured we must all be made aware of our rights when being arrested or detained in the case of Miranda v. Arizona (hence the name “Miranda Rights”)?  And abortion?  And now gay marriage?

Do Frist’s words infer only the SCOTUS is afforded judicial respect in situations where courts topple long-standing prejudicial legislation?  Such a declaration, of course, would insult the Constitution which empowered the courts to make such determinations.  I suspect this was not Dr. Idiot’s point.

I do believe he meant this: When social progress demands action and the gift of history shines favorably upon the change, we do not look at the SCOTUS as a horde of “unelected activist judges” arbitrarily dismantling pillars of society like the prohibition of interracial marriage or the state-forced separation of races for the purpose of education, mass transit, and other facilities.  On the contrary, those circumstances demand reverence and respect.  The beliefs inherent in these cases had far-reaching implications for the advancement of humanity.  We dare not question them since they represent who we are as a people.  Doing otherwise would certainly be seen as racist, bigoted, and intolerant.  Lacking such apparent clarity on the worth of these decisions, on the other hand, surely must mean the judges are activists and their decisions unworthy of respect or contemplation.

Supportive of the conservative agenda against all who are different or who disagree, this aspect of judicial history in fact bolsters the general Republican mentality: subjugate all but the ruling class.  Partisan semantics become less sure when history does not provide clear guidance.  Thus is the case with gay marriage and flag burning, not to mention abortion.

One might argue the Constitution demands equal protection under the law, and one would be right in such a debate; yet, too much comfort is found in turning that idea on its head when it comes to homosexuals, free speech, or a woman’s body.  Reprehensible and disconcerting are the words most appropriate for such considerations.  Too many people impose their own strict moral code on others with little regard for what is right and humane, otherwise known as what is constitutional.  Law and judgment must always err on the side of liberty and equality lest we forsake all that makes the idea of America so great.

Despite mounting and irrefutable evidence showing sexuality is an aspect of our genetic self, many can not come to terms with that truth and will instead deny it and make every effort to ensure such people are treated as less than human.  It is the Golden Rule: he who has the gold makes the rules.  In this case, the gold is political power and control over our government.  But in acting so contrary to American ideals in support of segregation, dehumanization, and inequality, humankind uses the law to force bigotry on our citizens.  We simply find it more pleasant to buttress such outdated and offensive ideals with the “But it’s the law!” excuse.  It no longer matters why we believe what we believe; if the law says so, it absolutely must be that way.  How many forgot precisely why they didn’t like interracial marriage when they could easily rest such laurels on arbitrary legislation that demanded compliance?  Why bother to explain or even face our own prejudices and intolerance when we can just as easily say we do not think something is right because the law says it is so?

With abortion, we consider the history as yet still unwritten.  We can therefore argue one side or the other in hopes of forcing our beliefs on the masses.  To wit, “we” think women should be able to vote, to hold a job, to compete with men, to be eligible for almost every opportunity afforded the opposite sex (sans combat and other ancient stupidities), to drive, to own property, and the list goes on, yet “we” do not deem them capable of making sound decisions in cases of health and their own bodies.  That is, after all, the crux of the abortion debate.  Whether you agree with it or not, should we not leave the choice up to the women involved in each case rather than dictating to them precisely what medical care they can and can’t receive?  Too many would disagree with that sentiment, I’m afraid, as is evidenced by the renewed war against birth control and abortion.  Irrespective of your beliefs, however, the issue is clear: can women make their own decisions?  That is the only question to be answered.  Conservatives seem to believe they can not and require oversight and regulation in this regard.

Free speech and expression are constitutional guarantees.  Should one deign to actually read the Constitution and its amendments, one could easily understand the explicit and implicit liberties it affords us.  The First Amendment — Americans need to understand it’s the first for a reason — unambiguously declares “Congress [and the states via the Fourteenth Amendment's Equal Protection Clause] shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”  In one sentence our founding fathers graced us with many of our most beloved and critical freedoms.  Too many efforts now are being made by too many governments within our nation to abridge our right to express ourselves.  As is the case with abortion, I do not like the idea of burning the American flag.  To me, that simple piece of cloth lives as a representation of this country’s guiding principles and long-lasting dedication to freedom, traits lost in recent years succumbing to the tyranny of FUD.  Regardless of being horrified by the burning of our flag, I must always seek refuge in the free exchange of ideas and opinions.  Not to put too fine a point on it, but that includes burning our flag — or anyone else’s.

Frist and his conservative cronies dedicate themselves to stopping social progress by way of legislating morality.  The dictates of reason and equality have been lost.  In the process, it has also become acceptable to attack the courts for performing the very functions with which they are constitutionally tasked.  Unless Bill intends to challenge the SCOTUS, a group of unelected judges who historically have torn down a great many state and national laws in the name of upholding our cherished value of equality, he plays himself the fool by engaging in such reckless folly.  Of course, given he insulted the SCOTUS Justices and a good portion of America’s social progress by his statement and is obviously dedicated to the subjugation of minorities in the name of the Christian majority, this comes as no surprise.

According to the theologians, God prepared this globe expressly for the habitation of his loved children, and yet he filled the forests with ferocious beasts; placed serpents in every path; stuffed the world with earthquakes, and adorned its surface with mountains of flame. Notwithstanding all this, we are told that the world is perfect; that it was created by a perfect being, and is therefore necessarily perfect. The next moment, these same persons will tell us that the world was cursed; covered with brambles, thistles and thorns, and that man was doomed to disease and death, simply because our poor, dear mother ate an apple contrary to the command of an arbitrary God.

— Robert G. Ingersoll

This is so entirely irreverent.  I’m going to hell, huh?  I’ll let you know if that ever worries me.

Well, go on and watch it.  You know you want to, and you sure as hell won’t regret it.

[via GrrlScientist]

My desk is surrounded by windows and a set of patio doors.  When sitting here I hear almost everything happening outside.  It was only a few moments ago that perusal of my news reader was interrupted by the cacophony of mockingbird war cries.  Experience has taught me to recognize that sound.  It means there’s a cat nearby.  While the birds have extensive verbal repertoires, listening closely to them as often as I am around them allows me to form a robust understanding of what they’re doing based on how they sound.  The “there’s a fuckin’ cat in the neighborhood” call is unmistakable.

I rose from my chair with deliberate alacrity driven by no other thought than to go outside.  Only my sunglasses were taken.

With eyes cloaked and shaded, I stepped through the door and began scanning the immediate area so as to identify the mockingbirds in question.  That would tell me where to look for the cat.  As my eyes consumed everything around me and I simultaneously walked toward the other end of the patio, the flash of something light moving about under the bushes caught my attention.  It was Chira.

The oppressive weight of my worry for him immediately lifted.  Tears welled up in my eyes as I took in the full view of him there just beyond the fence, the white mixed with grey tabby sitting and intently watching me.  I was so happy to see him.

Immediately I grabbed the food bowl, kneeling down near him and placing a handful of nourishment outside the fence.  He stepped forward and rubbed his nose against my hand for just a brief moment, a glancing blow if you will, and then he stepped backward with a bit of concern showing on his face.  He’s not forgotten me by any stretch of the imagination, yet there is a new fear within him.

No matter.  I placed a small pile of food where he could easily get to it, then I retreated a step or two so that he might have room.  His approach was immediate and his hunger real.  I spoke to him continuously.

He was a bit thin.  Not emaciated, you see, but thinner than he was just before he disappeared almost three weeks ago.  The wounds on his nose were also worse.  The major scabs I’d noted before were continuing to heal, yes, but there were new scrapes and bruises surrounding them.

Despite his somewhat worse appearance, he was otherwise in good health and ate some of the cat food.  I do wish he’d eaten more.

He was weary of me without significant fear.  That I was happy to see.  He ate several bites of the food before slowly retreating, a movement I woefully beheld.  There is a snapped photo of him in my camera that I grabbed without preparation mostly for the sake of posterity, but it was an overhead shot and not particularly worth mention.

I am so glad to see he’s still alive, and I do so hope that he starts visiting me again.  I fear I may have lost a good portion of the progress I’d already made in taming him, but I’ll happily start working on it again if he stays around.  I’ll also admit this boosted my spirits a great deal.  For reasons I’m not quite sure of, I’ve been a bit down lately and suffered a great deal of anxiety with regards to Chira.  I am undeniably better for having seen him.

Now I shall retreat to a bit of family-and-fur time with The Kids.  I will identify some form of sustenance for dinner, I shall find some movie to watch in order to lose myself, and I will consume one or two beers (or 10 or 12 ).  It’s the perfect time for mindless escape.

Gosh, I wish I could stress how happy I am to see Chira alive and at least in moderately good health.

As a side note, and speaking of movies, I watched Aeon Flux a bit earlier and was pleasantly surprised.  I have always loved the cartoon from MTV.  It is one of the few animated shows I like.  The movie was interesting.  No one in their right mind can claim it is prolific in any way, but it was a compelling idea even if the film was pedantically predictable.  Shortcomings aside, it certainly lived up to my expectations.  As far as I’m concerned, the premise and entertainment are intact.  It certainly failed to ruin my enjoyment of the brutally exacting animated series.

Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

— Spike Milligan