In the wee hours of this morning, a personal anniversary came and went even as I slept, a marker in time which serves to remind me how often I’ve journeyed around the sun. Today I turned 37.

Birthdays represent something different to everyone, and in that sense I am no different than anyone else. Unlike so many others, however, my leap from one year to the next measured on the date of my birth seldom means wild celebrations fogged with mind-altering accoutrements.

Instead, more humble observances tend to be my style, more reflective remembrances of where I’ve been and where I’m going, not to mention where I am.

So too will it be this year.

Even as this day approached, I found myself contemplating not just its relevance and meaning—as if birthdays must have implications beyond growing older—but I also found myself lost in memories dating back more than a decade. What do I mean?

While putting together my life list, I have lost myself in the reading of every post on this blog, not to mention every page of my offline journals, all in a quest to rediscover the many forms of life with which I’ve shared a blink of existence. In so doing, I became powerfully affected by the dichotomy of this birthday occurring little more than three months after the third anniversary of Derek’s death.

One a celebration of life ongoing. The other a celebration of life ended. What a dreadful truth to realize.

But what does it mean?

In honor of my own birthday today, I am beginning a new, infrequent serial entitled “First death, then what?”, a heartfelt journey through time and mind, a walk along a path which is sometimes dark, sometimes light, and always sincere.

Come along if you will, if you dare, for the road is not always an easy one to travel.

A common phrase amongst the bird watching kind is “Life List.”  It’s intention is to offer a mutable document in which one can identify each bird species that has been positively and definitively identified—after being seen, of course, since it makes little sense to keep a list of birds that have been identified in toto without regard for actually having seen them.

But I find this premise rather limiting, restrictive if you will, and even a bit hoity-toity insomuch as bird watching appears to have the term cornered in their market.

I say “Bah!” to such silliness.

A life list, as far as I’m concerned, should be a living document of all the nature one sees.  All the life if you will, and that seems terribly important given the name.  If birders want to control a list label, let them have “bird list” or “avian register” or “winged catalog” or something equally meaningful.

For me, all living things not domesticated and not human deserve a place on a life list.  I’m therefore claiming the title in the name of life heretofore excluded by feather fanatics who have thus far deemed it their own.  It’s not.  So get over it.

I’m starting a new section here that will be called “Life List” (I know…what a shock!) that will catalog all of the fauna and flora I’ve seen.

While it will contain a directory of the various organisms with which I’ve shared a moment on this pale blue dot we call Earth, the list will be generated mostly from the images I have.  What I won’t do is write a litany of lifeforms simply because I once saw them in a zoo or in passing as I drove down the freeway.  I’d like to say that if I don’t have a picture, it won’t be listed, but that would be too limiting.  What I will say is this: The most common entries will be those of whom I have photographs, but I will also include those I’ve seen in their natural habitats even if I don’t have an image.

As for plants, I will not attempt to identify and label every bit of flora I’ve seen or photographed.  Why not?  Don’t be daft.  I haven’t the time or energy to commit to something that vast.  Each time I take a scenic photo, it contains vast numbers of plant species.  Each time I stoop down and peer at a tiny insect scampering along the ground, I see innumerable species of grass and bush and tree.  Attempting to identify every bit of greenery in every image, whether mental or digital, would be more than daunting; it would be impossible.  However, I will strive to identify and include any flora which is the subject of my wanderings or photographs.

Why not humans?  PUH-LEASE!  Drive in rush hour just one day and answer that question for yourself.

Why not domesticated animals?  You’re starting to get one my nerves with these questions.

Yet how will I determine if an animal is domesticated or not?  As with taking control of the term “life list” and making it a real list of life rather than a list of birds, I’m likewise making an executive decision about what constitutes a non-domesticated animal.  Essentially, I’m defining “domesticated” as any species which has significantly altered its behavior and genetic make-up in response to longterm life with humans.  For now, that means cats and dogs.  Everything else is fair game without being something definitively included in the list.

Understand that definition is not written in stone.  It can be fluid based on what I think of the subject being photographed.  If I stumble upon a pack of wild dogs pillaging a remote village, I just might include them in the list.  Likewise, capturing a feline herd practicing predation on innocent school children similarly could find its way onto the list.  Basically, I’m playing it by ear, but you can certainly and safely assume a dog on a leash or a cat on a lap will not be included.

Over the coming days, you’ll see a new tab in the page header between Contact and Serials.  Miraculously, I’ll call it “Lists” just to confuse you.  That will lead to the dedicated page which I hope will grow over time to impressive proportions.  One of the entries it will offer is my personal “Life List.”  Expect that entry to start slowly as I have to work back through all of my photos and memories to identify additions to the list.

As I’m wont to do from time to time, xenogere is undergoing some structural changes, organizational rearranging in and of the various categories.

What presently exists will stay, or at least most of it will.  Additions are already in the works and being populated.

Why am I doing this?

I hope to better organize all multimedia content.  That’s step number one.

What’s number two?  I hope to better organize all text content, from creative writing (e.g., life, life as fiction, and fiction) to journaling to whatever.

Again as I’m wont to do, all of this might be for naught.  Managing categorization becomes tedious and, ultimately, burdensome.  Still, I hope to provide a slightly more intelligent grouping of posts along the lines of my present thinking.

Maybe this will only help me.  Maybe it will help others.  Maybe it’s just a waste of time.

[Update] It didn’t take long for me to realize what a terrible headache this idea actually was.  Once again I found myself trying to accomplish something that would require tremendous time and energy to implement and maintain.  That said, it won’t happen on the scale I originally considered.  I may yet reorganize a bit, so don’t consider this issue closed.