Unkempt beauty

Wind.  Gusts that tossed me about, sent me tumbling, had me bracing against nearby objects just to take photos.  Blowing from the south, the north shore of White Rock Lake offered the least hospitable place to wander.

So I turned south and headed back along the eastern shore toward the Bathhouse Cultural Center and water theater.

As I passed one of the docks where sailboats moored safely in the white-capped water, I spied a great egret (Ardea alba) standing amongst the reeds.  Its stance told me it was hunting.

Approaching slowly to find a good view of it, I made a point of keeping a large tree between me and the bird’s position.  I felt that made me less of a threat, less of a distraction, and the massive wooden trunk undoubtedly could provide anchorage for me against the relentless winds.  I would need it if I wanted to stand still long enough to focus and shoot.

Its position on the shore opposite the egret’s location also seemed a natural blind, one that could get me close enough for some respectable pictures.

My site reached, I prepped the camera settings for the shot.  The bird never moved save the occasional turn of the head as it watched for a fish to wander into range.

I set the camera for nearby objects, color balanced for the bright white against a drab brown backdrop of dried reeds, modified the light intake for the nearby trees whose shadows bathed the entire area and protected it from cool morning sunshine, then stepped slowly to the side where I could peer around the tree while steadying myself against it.

A massive blue form grew to colossal size right in front of me.  Had I taken a single step forward, I could have reached out and touched the behemoth as it transformed from something stoic and unseen to something gargantuan and alive.

Unbeknownst to me, a great blue heron (Ardea herodias) had been standing behind that very same tree opposite my approach.  I had not seen it because it never moved from its shielded spot behind the same obstacle I had used to conceal my advance.

We undoubtedly frightened each other with equal severity.

I stumbled backward as one wing came within a breath of my face, and I nearly fell to the ground as gusts of invisible force punched me in the chest as I scrambled for sure footing.

After no more than a second or two when I regained some composure, I turned and caught only a few images of the retreating giant as it flew in a low arc over the water’s surface, passing briefly in front of the pier and sailboats on its way around the small peninsula—and eventually behind the reeds and trees, its escape taking it further away toward the opposite shore.

A great blue heron (Ardea herodias) flying low over the waters of White Rock Lake

That one photo remains as proof of the encounter, the only one presentable due to being unready for the experience.

But what an encounter.

If you’ve never seen a great blue heron in person, you can’t possibly realize how large they are.  Their wingspan can reach six feet (71 in or 180 cm) and their length from head to tail ranges from three feet (36 in or 91 cm) to almost five feet (54 in or 137 cm).

Given my close encounter, I suspect the one I surprised erred on the large end of the scale.  It easily could have been as tall as I am had it stood erect on stiff legs with its neck fully extended.

I felt inebriated by the moment, by the nearness of such a massive yet graceful creature, one who easily took flight with almost slow flaps of its wings.  As it soared out over the lake, I became lost in the vision of it.

About a week later, I again found myself in the presence of this species, only then it was from a great distance with a good deal of winter limbs betwixt our positions.

I walked along the north bank of Dixon Branch.  The creek is surrounded by dense woodlands and provides habitat and home for many creatures.

The afternoon sun already beat down upon me, leaving me tired of the jacket I wore and wishing I had left it at home.  Yet I dared not turn back for too much life teemed about me, all of it begging to be seen, to be appreciated.

Without any sound at all, a huge shadow danced over me and toward the opposite bank.

It was a great blue heron.  Effortlessly as though made of air, it glided through the treetops and perched upon a large limb deep within the tree line.

I scrambled through thicket and brush trying to find a location with as few branches between me and the bird, someplace where I could get a semi-clear view of it.

A great blue heron (Ardea herodias) perched high in dense woodlands surrounding White Rock Lake

The unkempt nature of its feathers became clear despite the obstructions.  They danced in the breeze even as this avian beauty stood in complete calm, its head slowly turning this way and that, taking in the view from its high rest.

Knowing I could not get a clear view, I snapped several pictures before putting the camera down so I could just stand in silence and observe.

It took several moments for me to realize it too was watching.  Watching me.

A great blue heron (Ardea herodias) perched high in dense woodlands surrounding White Rock Lake

Being the only possible threat in the immediate area, and certainly the only creature to take notice of it, the heron casually glanced about in a graceful survey of the surroundings, pausing with each sweep of its head to look at me, to take in my presence much as I was doing with it.

We’re all gonna die!

Just kidding, of course, yet one must read things like this from NOAA with a heightened awareness for what could happen.

…SEVERE WEATHER LIKELY TONIGHT AND SATURDAY WITH A SIGNIFICANT THREAT OF TORNADOES IN SOUTHEASTERN PORTIONS OF NORTH TEXAS…

AS A STRONG UPPER LEVEL STORM SYSTEM APPROACHES NORTH TEXAS TONIGHT…AREAS OF RAIN AND THUNDERSTORMS WILL DEVELOP. SOME OF THE STORMS MAY BECOME SEVERE…PARTICULARLY AFTER MIDNIGHT. THE PRIMARY HAZARD WILL BE LARGE HAIL.

THE STORMS WILL CONTINUE INTO SATURDAY…INCREASING IN INTENSITY AND AREAL COVERAGE. AS THE UPPER LOW GETS CLOSER…A SURFACE LOW WILL DEVELOP…RE-ORIENTING THE FRONTAL BOUNDARY IN A NORTH-SOUTH FASHION. EXTRAORDINARY LOW-LEVEL SHEAR IN VICINITY OF THE BOUNDARY…LOW CLOUD BASES…AND RAPIDLY INTENSIFYING SOUTHERLY WINDS ABOVE THE SURFACE…WILL COMBINE TO CREATE AN ENVIRONMENT FAVORABLE FOR TORNADIC SUPERCELLS. AFTERNOON CONVECTION IN THE WARM SECTOR WILL BE MOST ABLE TO FULLY REALIZE THE SURFACE-BASED INSTABILITY. THERE IS STILL UNCERTAINTY ABOUT THE POSITION OF THE SURFACE BOUNDARY…BUT THE MOST LIKELY AREA FOR TORNADIC STORMS WILL BE ALONG AND SOUTH OF A LINE FROM TEMPLE TO ATHENS. LARGE HAIL WILL BE POSSIBLE WITH ANY OF THE STORMS…BUT DISCRETE CELLS IN THE WARM SECTOR WILL HAVE THE GREATEST RISK OF VERY LARGE HAIL.

IN ADDITION TO ANY SEVERE WEATHER…HEAVY RAIN MAY YIELD THE HIGHEST ONE-DAY RAINFALL TOTALS IN MANY MONTHS. FLASH FLOODING MAY RESULT FROM THE HEAVY RAIN…PARTICULARLY IN THE WARM SECTOR WHERE DEEP MOISTURE WILL ALLOW FOR CONSIDERABLE PRECIPITATION EFFICIENCIES.

THE CONVECTION MAY ORGANIZE INTO A SQUALL LINE AHEAD OF THE FRONTAL BOUNDARY AS THE FRONT SCOURS NORTH TEXAS FROM WEST TO EAST LATE IN THE DAY AND INTO THE EVENING HOURS. THIS WILL BRING AN END TO THE SEVERE THREAT…THOUGH SOME LIGHT RAIN MAY LINGER INTO SUNDAY MORNING.

Oddly enough, early in the week a fear of wintry precipitation this weekend seemed to be the focus.  By midweek, the threat had shifted to heavy rain and flooding.

Now it’s dangerous severe weather, especially tornadoes and large hail?

And in February, no less, just like a few weeks ago?

This seems a better match to spring and autumn (mostly, although summer storms have a tremendous amount of heat and humidity to feed on and often grow severe in the blink of an eye).

It also reeks of the bizarre monsoon season we had last year, the one that never wanted to go away and that brought deadly flooding to the entire state.  For most of the year.

I like storms.  It just seems early for these kinds of outbreaks, especially more than one.

Something good this way comes

It all began here and continued here, here, here, and here.

Today, this came:

Just checking in. After many diversions to finish up many other field guides […] I’m finally back full force on [the book], in which we’ll use your photo. We’ll mail a contract for you to sign and return sometime in the next month or two as we finish up the book.

‘Nuff said.

Like he said

“Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hang on to.”

— Vera Donovan in Stephen King’s Dolores Claiborne

A close-up of Kako lying on the desk next to me and my laptop

In a house full of boys, Kako agrees.  Wholeheartedly.

— — — — — — — — — —

Some notes:

  1. This is a photo of Kako lying on the desk next to my laptop.  Many of The Kids do the same in various positions and locations, but always close to me—if not on me.
  2. On one side you can see my laptop screen where I do much of my writing and online work; on the other side are books.  From bottom to top: all of my high school yearbooks for something I’m working on called “Yearbook Remembrances” or something equally mundane, a phone book I used that day for what I can’t remember, and one of my old journals (this one, like the rest, tattered and worn, pages yellowed with time, but holy writs to me nonetheless, items to be respected and admired, protected and secured).
  3. This photo was taken October 29, 2007.
  4. Notice the two white whiskers, one on each side?  Now she has more.

Unwelcome antipathy

Dark, shadowy places.  They seem the only paths I travel these days.  Acrimonious, hostile, unfriendly paths upon which I walk alone, find my way from moment to moment, yearn for betterment whilst acting out a play of sheer bitterness.

Wanton bile fills one second, another, the next, and before I know what happened, it fills the whole day and leaves me restless, unable to sleep.

More than anything else, work embodies the crushing revulsion and incensed umbrage that poisons my every vein and breath.  From me it robs time and energy, sleep and interest, and in the end offers nothing but more of the same.

In the ravages of such destruction I grow despondent, removed from all that I love.

Seeking escape becomes yet one more responsibility for which I have no time.

Each footstep measured, limited, timed to lead me from one rushing menagerie of need to the next.

Holidays sacrificed en masse, stolen without a single drop of gratitude.

Vacation denied and early release scolded.

Even now I enter my eleventh straight day of work.

And this weekend?

So full of tasks and duties as to be completely devoid of relaxation, time spent with The Kids, writing and work on Dreamdarkers.  In truth, I doubt it can contain all the necessities of survival with which I must fill it, all the errands and chores, all the burdens I must complete before delving into another week of hell on call.

On call.  I hate those words, hate the very thought of them, hate the agony they represent.

Nothing justifies this ghoulish existence, nothing sweetens the acidity of this life.